I've been wandering around MyBloggers while trying to get my thoughts into a semblance of a post. I wrote yesterday about the good time we had at the ball game. I had a really good time with M yesterday. She sat in my lap during most of the game and we discussed the finer points of baseball. Not really, I tried to explain what was going on during the game. (Chris informed me it's not points during a baseball game. It's runs.) Anyway, I just really enjoyed her company.

I've written before about the "illness" issues we've had this spring. We had one again tonight. There were no complaints all day long. She went and spent the afternoon with her grandparents-always a favorite. We watched the series finale of one of our favorite shows. Then it comes time for bed and all of a sudden her head hurts, her throat hurts. I tell her to go to sleep and she'll feel better in the morning. About twenty minutes later I can hear her wailing from her bedroom to the front of the house. She's just in so much pain.

We've had this kid checked out. She's had numerous dr. visits. She's on medicaion for allergies. She's had two CT scans checking out all of her sinus areas. Nothing shows up. Like I said we go to the ENT on Tuesday for the last check to see if there's any medical reasons for all these illnesses.

I think it has more to do with attention and what she wants from me. Today was a work kind of day around the house. We washed some laundry, did some box unloading, floor cleaning, those kinds of fun things. I think every thing I asked her to do I had to ask twice. The first time she would head that way and then end up somewhere else. I washed blue jeans and asked her to check her laundry for any pairs that needed to be washed. After I finished that load we emptied out all of the rest of her clothes and I found three more pair! (I wasn't planning on sorting laundry or I would have just done that the first time.) I told her though that it's those kinds of things that just make getting things done harder. So in other words I probably wasn't a kind gentle mom today.

It's hard sometimes. I really am quite an introverted person in the summer. I think it takes a lot to recharge me for the fall. And honestly I'm just not doing really great right now. (I'm working on that issue too.) I feel like I'm giving her all I've got right now and it's just not enough. I don't really know how to give her what she needs and get what I need too. And I know that as her mom you just do it. It would be nice if attention from others helped give her what she seems to need right now but it doesn't. It seems that what she needs is that attention and recognition from me. So you grab the bootstraps and "git er done!"