As some of you may know I used to not only be a smoker, but a drinker & a meth addict. I have been clean from smoking for over 3 years now, Haven't had a drinking problem since after high school (about 14 years ago). I quite using meth about 3 years ago. I don't have any problem with drinking now or smoking but every once in awhile the addiction to meth will pop up and start bothering me. Sometimes if my mind is allowed to stop and think, I will yearn for meth. I have to constantly remind myself that I left that life for a reason and I have so many wonderful things in my life now that would be totally screwed up if i ever went back. But those cravings can get really intense at times. You would think after 3 years they would subside...and yes they do come more infrequent but when they do hit it's almost as bad as when I was doing it still!

Not sure if that will ever go away but I am hoping and praying my strength will keep up. I try to throw myself into my life now...work, school, Hawaiian culture, my relationship to help remind me of the good things in life. Not sure where I was going with all of this but I was riding the bus this morning and that urge hit me again and I couldn't' focus on my reading or anything. I had to get off the bus and regroup myself while walking to a Starbucks for coffee.

I had many reasons for quitting meth: my relationship was falling apart, my life in Hawai'i was in jeopardy, my work was being effected and I was becoming a person that I didn't know and doing stuff that just wasn't me.

I know and am sure I will always struggle with this but also know that I have come so far and accomplished so much since then. Please send out prayers & good energy towards me today.