in my platforms
i hit the floor
fell face down
didn't help my brain out
then the baby came
before i found
the magic how
to keep her happy
i never was the fantasy
of what you want
wanted me to be
don't judge me so harsh little girl
so you got a playboy mommy
but when you tell them my name
from here to birmingham
i got a few friends
i never was there was there when it counts
i get my way
you're so like me
you seemed ashamed
ashamed that i was
a good friend of american soldiers
i'll say it loud here by your grave
those angels can't
ever take my place
somewhere where the the orchids grow
i can't find those church bells
that played when you died
played gloria
talkin bout
hosanah, yes
don't judge me so harsh little girl
you got a playboy mommy, come home
so when you tell them soldiers my name
you'll cross that bridge all on your own
little girl, they'll do you no harm
'cause they know your playboy mommy
i'll be home
i'll be home
to take you in my arms




"I was pregnant," she softly states. "I got pregnant on tour, it was a surprise, but I was deeply thrilled about it. I was almost three months pregnant... Christmas '96... and I miscarried. And it was very difficult. The sorrow was just really deep. I know some people who've gone through it and they move on quickly. Everybody responds differently to a loss. I got quite attached to the spirit of this being....It was a girl. That's why on Playboy Mommy, I sing, Don't judge me so harsh little girl. I had so many responses to it before I could get to the place where I am now. You see people hit their kids in stores and you just go, What force of judgment gives these people these little lives? I have a lot of questions right now. I know it's a free-will planet. Things happen. But you know that saying, Bad things don't happen to good people? That's a painful lie, and it hits you on such a core level. I know now that I have an appreciation for the miracle of life that I didn't have, but I don't believe in the saying that it all happens for the best... it's just not appropriate."
-- Tori; Q Magazine, May 1998