This is a song I really identified with when I was younger (I guess I still do in some ways)

every finger in the room
is pointing at me
i wanna spit in their faces
then i get afraid what that could bring
i got a bowling ball in my stomach
i got a desert in my mouth
figures that my COURAGE
would choose to sell out now

i've been looking for a savior
in these dirty streets
looking for a savior
beneath these dirty sheets
i've been raising up my hands
drive another nail in
just what GOD needs
one more victim

why do we crucify ourselves
every day i crucify myself
nothing i do is good enough for you
crucify myself
every day
i crucify myself
and my HEART is sick of being
in chains

got a kick for a dog
beggin' for LOVE
i gotta have my suffering
so that i can have my cross
i know a cat named easter
he says will you ever learn
you're just an empty cage girl
if you kill the bird

i've been looking for a savior
in these dirty streets
looking for a savior
beneath these dirty sheets
i've been raising up my hands
drive another nail in
got enough GUILT to start
my own religion

why do we crucify ourselves
every day i crucify myself
nothing i do is good enough for you
crucify myself
every day i crucify myself
and my HEART is sick of being in chains

please be
save me
i CRY

looking for a savior
in these dirty streets
looking for a savior
beneath these dirty sheets
i've been raising up my hands
drive another nail in
where are those angels
when you need them

why do we crucify ourselves
every day i crucify myself
nothing i do is good enough for you
crucify myself
every day i crucify myself
and my HEART is sick of being
in chains

why do we
crucify ourselves
everyday

never going back again
crucify myself
again you know
never going back again to
crucify myself
everyday



"I would get taken advantage of. You know, do things for somebody, and ... they walk over you, or ... want to make you feel like nothing. ["Crucify" video clip] I do think that there're times when we can all be pretty abusive, and we can be those victims, and we change roles with ourselves."
-- Tori; The Tori Papers #1: First Look Video Interview, Fall 1995

Got enough guilt to start my own religion: "I have that guilt still. I'm still working through this idea of giving myself completely to this man I'm with because he is my best friend and someone I respect. Yet he is also someone I need to slam me against a wall and fuck me. And love me as well. The concept of both being part of the one relationship is still hard for me to accept. Because I've been taught that being fucked against a wall, or anywhere, is not love. Who the fuck thought up *that* idea? That notion has kept marriages from working, people from giving to each other and both sexes under control for centuries."
-- Tori; Hot Press, 1994