spring break
there are no rules
gonna do it
by the pool
get drunk
break a’ dawn
this is how
I get it on

rub some lotion
on my back
massage it down
into my crack
the day is young
and I am hung
spring break is
so much fucking fun

but let me tell you kids
what my mom told me…

when you love someone
take it slow
don’t let them rape your bussy-hole
cause if he’s not wrapped
you’re ass is trapped
and you’ll end up with the clap
CLAP
gonorrhea

smelly whores
on the shore
love to take it
on all fours
dirty sluts
in the club
wanna get their
coochies rubbed

when you’re back
at motel 6
you’re craving cock
must get its fix
gang bang
squeal and moan
porno stars
your daddy’s home

but let me tell you kids
what Jesus says…

when you love someone
let it show
tell him that you’re a trashy ho
if you got a sling
and that’s your thing
that’s how your priest got the clap

gonnorhea, chlamydia, herpes and scabies
I don’t care if you’ve got crabs, I wanna have your babies
I’ll be your dirty doctor, and I’ll nurse you when you’re sick
And when you’re feeling better, I am gonna milk your dick

sperminate me
i’ll be the next pregnant man
you’ll see us on oprah
and we’ll live happily ever after…

and then she’ll marry us
and give us a free honeymoon to hawaii
because she’s oprah
and that’s what she does

but let me tell you kids
what Oprah says…

when you love someone
you will know
he’ll give your face
that special glow
but when his love grows stale
call up Gayle
cause she doesn’t have the clap
CLAP
gonorrhea

everybody sing along
let’s go back to the start of the song

ready mom?

when you love someone
take it slow
don’t let them rape your bussy-hole
cause if he’s not wrapped
you’re ass is trapped
and you’ll end up with the clap
CLAP
gonorrhea