Did you know that we, we being
Earthlings, are enslaved to a savage race of Alien gorilla-like beings?

Hey, I didn’t either but I was
informed of the treachery by a caller.

You see for millions of years
we have paid off our true creators, The Alien gorilla Warlords, to be allowed
to inhabit this planet. You see this
planet was actually established to house the weaker links of the hairy,
humongous alien gorilla people who are without a doubt the missing link though
we got it wrong, we are simply a genetic defect they have allowed to breed on
an inferior planet.

All those missing children
“forget about it,” he tells me. “They
were taken up by the warlords to take their place amongst the superior race
before their hair began to grow showing their superiority thus putting them at
risk of being destroyed because humans, it is proven, cannot accept that they
are inferior.

So we have a pact that only the
great leaders of the world are privy to know of with these Gorilla Warlords, we
must provide a perfect specimen of human to female to their leader to mate
with. Of course, as you may have suspected, it is Bush who is regulating the
alien sex show that is to be held at the Un in front of many horrified world
leaders.

Yep, you guessed it Bush picked
me this year! I think Amrigobard must have referred me for the task!

Not to worry! I saved the earth on a twenty four inch
pole! God Bless him!