Pharmacist walks back into his shop after a short break and sees a man leaning against the wall.

"What's wrong with him?" he asks his assistant

"He came in for cough syrup but I couldn't find any so I gave him an entire bottle of laxatives" replied the assistant.

"You idiot" exclaims the Pharmacist, "you can't treat a cough with laxatives"

"Of course you can" replies the assistant, "look at him, he's too scared to cough

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There is a BBC News article about Britain's desire to increase food production by encouraging people to once again plant gardens and grow some of their own food. This is being objected to by the food service industry, including supermarkets, of course... as it would affect their profits. I think we could do a great deal toward reducing our balance of payments deficit here if everyone who tokes grew their own marijuana instead of buying it on the corner from the guy who gets it from across the Rio Grand River.

And over 75 percent of our cut flowers come from Columbia! Did you know that? That's not all that comes from there, though.

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The next big thing is 3D TV. I couldn't care less. You have to wear those stupid cheap glasses in order to watch it in 3D, just like in the terribly out-of-focus 3D movies. Would I pay $3,000 for a gimmick that was out-of-focus and required me to wear spectacles? You've got to be kidding. What TV manufacturer is making the TV's? Let me know so I can sell their stock short. (If I could find the cash.)

...........

I discovered that Motrin in double doses works against most of my arthritis pain when I run out of my prescription medicine (Ketoprofen 200mg CR.) It doesn't seem to eat holes in my stomach lining as did aspirin, Tylenol (poison if you have liver or gallbladder problems), or other Naprosen OTC drugs. I said "most." Not all.

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Why do I get really lazy in January? Is it the abundance of cold and snow? Is it the post-Noel depression? Is it the knowledge that my natural gas bill will be higher this month than my rent?

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I said goodbye to some nice paintings this week. I miss them already, like children getting married and moving off to Buffalo or somewhere. One of my 'children' moved to northern Italy. Another to California.

I wish I could enjoy the nice weather they will encounter.

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Another item that helps arthritis pain is Capcaicin. Capcaicin is an element found in chilis and peppers. It is the thing that hurts when you clean a Jalapeno pepper with naked fingers and gets under your nails and cuticles.It is also used in ointments to treat shingles, which I don't have. When the arthritis gets really bad I make a big batch of wired chili and make sure it gets lots of Capcaicin.

Pronounce it 'Cap-say-a-sin.'

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I see that the orbiting space telescopes have discovered five more planets in other solar systems. I suppose they are busy looking for them because they know we have wasted this one.