Baseball is shot, the season, that is. The Tribe has tossed the towel and the manager will be fired before they win another two or three games. Their pitching should be done by the bat boys. As for hitting? I need a drink.

Soccer (called football by everyone but us) is in hiatus, except for the very weird US league, which has its season in the summer. The real football season (called soccer here in the US) begins in late August and lasts until next May. I have been a cup and league soccer fan since the 1960s, when Pele played the beautiful game.

American football is in hiatus until August.

Basketball? Fugetaboutit. I was never much of a fan after high school. Too many tall people on the floor.

Racing? Nah.

Hockey? I call it "hackey." The best thing about hackey is when they toss those octupus carcasses onto the ice.

Tennis anyone? Nah. That's a sport for people who like dainty dresses and white shoes.

I would never wear white shoes.

How about ping-pong? Nah... that's too hard and it isn't a spectator sport.

Horse racing? It is not easy to watch without losing loads of cash.

Golf?

Now there you go. It is a spectator sport that you can also play, just about any time you wish. Sure, you can lose money on bets. Sure, it can cost, depending on where you play. Sure.

There you go, Jondude. Problem solved. Get your hat, your glove, your shoes, your bag and your cigar and let's go have a great time with our new summer sport.

Just like every year, right about the time that the Indians drop below 12 games out of first place in their division.

Who are the "Indians" again?