Jon Adams

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A Minority Of One

Entertainment > Humor > The Eu Official Language ...
 

The Eu Official Language ...

Euro-English :

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languagis disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

posted on July 19, 2008 5:12 AM ()

Comments:

krap, I have to relearn spelling?
comment by shesaidwhat on July 21, 2008 7:38 AM ()
German was nearly chosen for our official language too. English got one vote more than German.
comment by catdancer on July 19, 2008 8:02 PM ()
geez and I only just got out of the habit of spelling like that - damn. I must have been here before in a past life kause I always thought I was spelling things korektly, but my English teacher and Augusta went on and on and on about which phonik to use, would it be the kurly 'c' or the cicking 'k'. But darn it I was right all along
comment by lynnie on July 19, 2008 4:24 PM ()
Whaaaaaaaaaat?
comment by marta on July 19, 2008 12:56 PM ()
wunderbar!
comment by elkhound on July 19, 2008 7:06 AM ()
comment by ducky on July 19, 2008 6:51 AM ()
Das ist gut! Ich bin spraching zu viel English anyway.
comment by jondude on July 19, 2008 5:25 AM ()

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