UPDATE:My dayz are so stressful,and UNpredictable.Made up of sad waves that sweep over us all.(my family)At least i can speak for my son and myself as for my other half I cannot.This morning chans day started with sadness,and a kinda fear.He is  used to attention right when he wakes,but he stays in his room hoping against hope that his daddy will be awake or wake and or before,or when he does.I hated having the well-son Men have this way kinda like a ritual of a morning that you don't know about.@least your daddy does.Here goes- up around 10:30-11:30 give or take.On the couch for all of maybe 2-5 mins.Then its BATHROOM time.(Truly God only knows)@least another hour.By this time as you can imagine he is so sad.He remembers when he could and did run and jump into our bed when his little eyes opened.Be it 6-7am.Not anymore.

    My husband was great when he first came from Iraq.Damn the whole morning BATHROOM thing took all of 20 mins if that.He was on a schedule with a purpose to get things done.Things have changed.I get so upset.I worry.Al  seems to be blind to it all.Seeing what he wants to  i believe.Or it may be he is simply UN able to see or feel or get that connection back where you just sense things without words for gosh sakes.(you know what i'm talking about)It seems at times my husband is more worried what i think how i feel all about me.It confuses me and makes me angry.I'm like who the hell cares about me its not about f***** me.damn!No understanding of this.

    Therefore it makes my (MIND)want to packup and go back to Tennessee because things quite honestly were better when we saw daddy once or twice a month than here in Mississippi daily.Sometimes I wish i could be one of those women(i see daily here!)that don't see or hear anything in regards to there kids.But,I'll never have any kind of ability to do that if i wanted to.So I try at this pt to have hope,faith with prayer.I truly am at a crossroads and picking the right road to take will change all our lives.So I feel overwhelmed more so now than when faced with him going to war for two yrs.Stressed,and stretched beyond recovery.....WoW....