Once upon a time,a beautiful princess happened upon a frog in a pond..

       The frog said to the princess,"I was once a handsome prince until an evil witch put a spell on me.One kiss from you and I will turn back into a prince and then we can marry,move into the castle with my mom where you can prepare my meals,clean my clothes,bear my children and forever feel lucky for doing so."

That night the princess had frogs legs for dinner.

There was a husband and a wife who had a very good sex life at least the wife,thought so.The only problem with it was that the husband always had to have the lights off when they made love,so one day the wife decides to surprise him and turn the lights on in the middle of it.

  She realizes her husband is using a cucumber!

She asks him if this is what he has been using their entire marriage,He replies"Yes."She becomes angry and starts screaming at him,calling him a "stupid cheating bastard."

He looks at her and says,I'm the stupid cheating bastard?

Explain our 4 kids!

Gwen met Randy at a nightclub,They hit it off,so she invited him back to her place.When they arrived at her house they went right for the bedroom.

  Randy noticed hundreds of stuffed animals scattered throughout the room.Giant stuffed animals sat on top of the wardrobe.Slightly smaller stuffed animals sat on the window sill.Many tiny stuffed animals sat on the bottom shelf of her bookcase.

 After they had sex,Randy turned to her and said,"So....how was I?""Well,"Gwen said,"you can take anything from the bottom shelf."