8 wks my world will change again for better or worse.I think i have created an outlet with my ex-just incase all hell breaks loose and things are too rough for me when my husband comes home .Shitty as hell I know ,but that is all i've known all my life have a back-up plan.I've had one since i was 5-6 really.Had to.I've never really felt secure right until alan left for iraq.Then it was sink or swim time.Alone never,never been.Haven't wanted to be always had a fear of abandonment,therefore I abandon first.Textbook case.I've read about myself over and over tried to change and have to certain points.Being alone for 18 mths has done something to me good bad I have yet to find out.So far been good.Feel bad coming on...How do U stop being a BITCH,because you think you will hurt the others in your life so you leave.When that is what will hurt them......