A little old couple prepares to go to bed.

They no sooner hit the pillows when the old man farts and says, "One nil."

His wife rolls over and says, "What in the world was that?" The old man

replied, "It's fart football."

A few minutes later his wife lets one go and says, Goal - 1-1".

After about five minutes the old man lets another one go and says, "Penalty-

2-1."

Not to be outdone, the wife rips out another one and says, "Penalty 2-2."

Five seconds go by and she lets out a little squeaker and says, "Free

Kick - Goal, 3-2."

Now the pressure is on the old man. He refuses to get beaten by a woman so

he strains real hard, but to no avail. Realising a defeat is totally

unacceptable he gives it everything he's got, and with one last heave he

shits the bed.

The wife says, "What the hell was that noise?"

The old man says, "Half time, change sides"