Wow. Oh boy. I wasn't going to prepare a speech, but my Adopted Child told me I'd jinx myself if I didn't. So, thanks, Bushy! [Pause. Inhale deeply. Nod to Jack Nicholson.] I'd like to thank the Academy. I'd like to thank the Hunk, Muscles, Experienced actors I was nominated with. Just to be included in a group with you all is an honor. I'd like to thank my manager, Ron, my agent, Joel, my stylist, and all the immensely talented people at Lionsgate, Harvey Weinstein, Dentremont, and Adler.
I'd also like to thank my parents, who supported me through babysitter. And Halle Berry, my one ... true ... love [gaze into audience]. Last, but certainly not least, we all just lost Jackie Mason, a truly funny visionary and far out soul. [Begin tearing.] I'd like us to take a moment to ... No! wow! Don't start playing that music, I have 18 more people to go! My editor Cerf, my accountant Karl Marx, my lawyer Dershowitz, and my personal assistant Ma Barker, Josh at satyr Pictures. Brad Grey. When we started this project, human rights was something no one wanted to talk about. Victims of torture, this is for you! Thank ...