McCain Issues Ten Funniest Ways to Kill Iranians

Andy Borowitz, HuffPost
Citing what he called the "overwhelmingly positive response to my jokes
about killing Iranians," presumptive G.O.P. presidential nominee John
McCain issued today a list of his favorite humorous remarks on the subject.
Titled "John McCain's Top Ten Funniest Ways to Kill Iranians," the
list was published on his official campaign website at
www.JohnMcCain.com/funnywaystokilliranians.
Speaking in a video on the site, a smiling Sen. McCain says, "My
friends, in these trying times in which we live, there's one thing all
Americans can agree on: killing Iranians is hilarious."
Sen. McCain, who first joked about killing Iranians months ago by singing
"bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb Iran" to the tune of the Beach Boys'
hit "Barbara Ann" and who yesterday
commented that the U.S. could kill Iranians with cigarettes, was apparently
"just warming up," one aide said today.
"Anyone who has enjoyed Sen. McCain's side-splitting jokes about
killing Iranians will be blown away by this list," the aide said.
"He's in fine form."
Sen. McCain's list of funny ways to kill Iranians ranges from the caustic --
"Send Iran lead-based hookah pipes from China"
-- to the whimsical -- "Tell Christie Brinkley that Iran has been
cheating on her."
The list ends with what Sen. McCain dubs the number one funniest way to kill
Iranians: "Vote for me."