I posted this maybe last year, and I thought it was good to do again. Timely for this week.
Ana
Thank you--I'm sorry--forgive me....
HO'OPONOPONO
By Joe Vitale
"Two years ago, I heard about a therapist in Hawaii who cured a complete ward of criminally insane patients--without ever seeing any of them. The psychologist would study an inmate's chart and then look within himself to see how he created that person's illness. As he improved himself, the patient improved.
"When I first heard this story, I thought it was an urban legend. How could anyone heal anyone else by healing himself? How could even the best self-improvement master cure the criminally insane? It didn't make any sense. It wasn't logical, so I dismissed the story.
"However, I heard it again a year later. I heard that the therapist had used a Hawaiian healing process called ho 'oponopono. I had never heard of it, yet I couldn't let it leave my mind. If the story was at all true, I had to know more. I had always understood "total responsibility" to mean that I am responsible for what I think and do. Beyond that, it's out of my hands. I think that most people think of total responsibility that ay. We're responsible for what we do, not what anyone else does--but that's wrong.
"The Hawaiian therapist who healed those mentally ill people would teach me an advanced new perspective about total responsibility. His name is Dr. Ihaleakala Hew Len. We probably spent an hour talking on our first phone call. I asked him to tell me the complete story of his work as a therapist. He explained that he worked at Hawaii State Hospital for four years. That ward where they kept the criminally insane was dangerous.
Psychologists quit on a monthly basis. The staff called in sick a lot or simply quit. People would walk through that ward with their backs against the wall, afraid of being attacked by patients. It was not a pleasant place to live, work, or visit.
"Dr. Len told me that he never saw patients. He agreed to have an office and to review their files. While he looked at those files, he would work on himself. As he worked on himself, patients began to heal.
"'After a few months, patients that had to be shackled were being allowed to walk freely,' he told me. 'Others who had to be heavily medicated were getting off their medications. And those who had no chance of ever being released were being freed.' I was in awe.'Not only that,' he went on, 'but the staff began to enjoy coming to work. Absenteeism and turnover disappeared. We ended up with more staff than we needed because patients were being released, and all the staff was showing up to work. Today, that ward is closed.'

"This is where I had to ask the million dollar question: 'What were you doing within yourself that caused those people to change?'

"'I was simply healing the part of me that created them,' he said. I didn't understand. Dr. Len explained that total responsibility for your life means that everything in your life- simply because it is in your life--is your responsibility. In a literal sense the entire world is your creation.

"Whew. This is tough to swallow. Being responsible for what I say or do is one thing. Being responsible for what everyone in my life says or does is quite another. Yet, the truth is this: if you take complete responsibility for your life, then everything you see, hear, taste, touch, or in any way experience is your responsibility because it is in your life. This means that terrorist activity, the president, the economy or anything you experience and don't like--is up for you to heal. They don't exist, in a manner of speaking, except as projections from inside you. The problem isn't with them, it's with you, and to change them, you have to change you.

"I know this is tough to grasp, let alone accept or actually live. Blame is far easier than total responsibility, but as I spoke with Dr. Len, I began to realize that healing for him and in ho 'oponopono means loving yourself.

"If you want to improve your life, you have to heal your life. If you want to cure anyone, even a mentally ill criminal you do it by healing you.

"I asked Dr. Len how he went about healing himself. What was he doing, exactly, when he looked at those patients' files?

"'I just kept saying, 'I'm sorry' and 'I love you' over and over again,' he explained.

"That's it?

"That's it.

"Turns out that loving yourself is the greatest way to improve yourself, and as you improve yourself, you improve your world.

"Let me give you a quick example of how this works: one day, someone sent me an email that upset me. In the past I would have handled it by working on my emotional hot buttons or by trying to reason with the person who sent the nasty message.

"This time, I decided to try Dr. Len's method. I kept silently saying, 'I'm sorry' and 'I love you,' I didn't say it to anyone in particular. I was simply evoking the spirit of love to heal within me what was creating the outer circumstance.

"Within an hour I got an e-mail from the same person. He apologized for his previous message. Keep in mind that I didn't take any outward action to get that apology. I didn't even write him back. Yet, by saying 'I love you,' I somehow healed within me what was creating him.

"I later attended a ho'oponopono workshop run by Dr. Len. He's now 70 years old, considered a grandfatherly shaman, and is somewhat reclusive.

He praised my book, The Attractor Factor. He told me that as I improve myself, my book's vibration will raise, and everyone will feel it when they read it. In short, as I improve, my readers will improve.

"'What about the books that are already sold and out there?' I asked.

"'They aren't out there,' he explained, once again blowing my mind with his mystic wisdom. 'They are still in you.' In short, there is no out there. It would take a whole book to explain this advanced technique with the depth it deserves.

"Suffice It to say that whenever you want to improve anything in your life, there's only one place to look: inside you. When you look, do it with love."
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Another source..
I learned a practice from a tradition called Ho 'oponopono that you might be interested in. It's very simple, very powerful, and easy to remember. You can go deep with it rather quickly, bringing lightness and healing quite soon to your heart and mind. One of the central exercises - you could call it a personal discipline - one of the primary gifts of Ho'oponopono, is a very effective forgiveness exercise.
This simple exercise from Ho'oponopono (or "making right") has five basic parts. First, bring to mind something that's bothering you. It can be anything at all, a worry, a physical pain, a sad memory, a friend, someone you're not at peace with, anyone, anything at all.
Begin by saying to this worry, or to this person, "I love you." You can say this out loud at first, but you can also do the entire exercise silently, whispering inwardly, as if the person is present to your inner voice, or even visually present to the imagination if you like. Stay with this until you feel the phrase settle in a bit, "I love you."

Then, to whatever comes up next, say, "I'm sorry." It doesn't have to be specific, just say, "I'm sorry."

Then ask with an honest heart, "please forgive me." These are very powerful words, "please forgive me..."

To complete the prayerful exercise, simply say, "thank you."

Express gratitude for the opportunity to heal, for this opportunity to be released from the sadness, from the hurt, the woundedness that life so often serves up, even in completely innocent circumstances. It's also helpful to understand that your gratitude extends to being thankful for being allowed to release another, to make their healing more likely, more sure. Gratitude for the privilege to help another is an experience of our connectedness in creation.
This can be personalized, simply by using the person's name, or maybe addressing for instance, a heartache or headache that's bothering you. You can say, for instance: "I love you, Jason," or "I love you, dear headache." "I love you, my friend." This simple phrase takes on new meaning when used for healing this way.
A beloved's name can be used throughout: "I love you, Donna... I'm sorry, Donna... Please forgive me, Donna. Thank you..." You can repeat the phrases, for as long as you feel it's helping. We all carry more hidden and seemingly insignificant complaints than we can remember or address in the hustle and bustle of our lives.
I sometimes whisper these phrases as I'm going to sleep at night. After I've repeated them with the people who come to mind, I might notice the little aches and pains in my body. Saying "I love you" to my knees, to my muscles, to my heart, then expressing gratitude, this is a kind of self healing and brings greater sensitivity to not only our own bodies, but the physical experiences of others as well.
I like to consider the phrasings creatively on occasion, especially since I'm sometimes unsure I'm being properly respectful of another tradition, or if I'm not feeling especially confident at the time.
For example, I might say to a teacher of Ho'oponopono - in my imagination: "I love you teacher... I'm sorry I haven't studied more... please forgive me for just jumping in and trying this... I hope you don't hold this against me. Please help me. I'm sorry. Thank you." I've felt an inner freedom in my own embellishments this way, and a restful permission to let go of all my grievances and misgivings.
It doesn't have to be a formal process, or formulaic, to have effects, in my experience. This four phrase practice is only one variation on an ancient Hawaiian healing practice, a personal expression of one of the prayers for healing taught in this tradition.
A close friend told me about this and I did some searching on the web, once I learned how to spell it. It's been taught for centuries on the islands of Hawaii, part of the Huna religion, making relations right within the native communities. One of its present living teachers, Dr. Ihaleakala Hew Len has become known for his extraordinary healing work with patients at a hospital for the criminally insane, where patients previously written off as hopeless experienced some unexplainably complete recoveries.
Ho'oponopono requires a sincere heart, and a willingness to take 100% responsibility for all our judgments, all our perceptions, all our experiences. Once you begin experiencing the peace and graceful release this practice brings, it easily becomes a touchstone in your spiritual practice. You begin understanding that each of us is responsible for all that we perceive, all that we imagine. We are even responsible for those who seem never to understand.
Another thing, once you start practicing this, you're likely to meet others who have tried it. Within weeks of learning a couple basic Ho'oponopono exercises, I met four more people who have attended workshops or have been practicing some variation themselves. There's something about the simplicity and focused clarity this brings that resonates naturally with others.
I mentioned doing this when going to sleep. It works great for letting go of the day, for inviting restful thoughts and pleasant dreams. It also has a calming effect when driving, especially on the way to meetings where there may be people you aren't yet comfortable with. On the drive, simply imagine being there, meeting those you expect to be there, while also offering the blessing silently to those who you don't yet know. It helps clear expectations and anxieties, and it's much more likely you'll be in a space that's welcoming and friendly when you arrive. Who can't use a little more of that?
So I offer you this practice, imagining we are already good friends. I'm clearly not an expert, yet I suspect the teachers appreciate people knowing even the least little bit about Ho'oponopono. The kind energy and love, the forgiveness and gratitude considered this way offer a sampling of the experience that when given an honest try will very likely inspire more exploration.

This world can use as much healing as we can find.

Jess Freer has studied many alternative healing and meditation approaches over the last twenty five years. He's presently immersed in graduate studies focused on Spiritual Psychology. https://mypieceofthe-e-pie.com
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I've been using this since I first read about it in 2006. It is like the "Act of Contrition" in the Catholic Church Prayers. So it was easy to continue doing what I had done for many years.
Ana
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https://educate-yourself.org/zsl/hooponopono25jul06.shtml
page: www.cam.net.uk/.../healing/hooponopono.htm