I
planted some bird seed. A bird came up.
Now I don't know what to feed it.

I
had amnesia once — maybe twice.

All
I ask is a chance to prove money can't make me happy.

What
is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?

They
told me I was gullible .... and I believed them.

Experience
is the thing you have

left when everything else is gone.

One
nice thing about egotists ...

they don't talk about other people.

Two can live as cheaply as one — for half as long.

What
if there were no hypothetical questions?

Teach
a child to be polite and courteous in the home and,when he grows
up,
he'll never be able to edge his car onto a freeway.

When
the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to look
like a nail.

A
flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.

What
was the greatest thing BEFORE sliced bread?

Photons
have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.

I
used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.

The
high cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.

How
can there be self-help "groups"?

Is
there another word for synonym?

The
speed of time is one second per second.

Is
it possible to be totally partial?

Is
Marx's tomb a communist plot?

If
swimming is so good for your figure,

how do you explain whales?

Show
me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I'll show you
a man who can't get his pants off.

It's
not an optical illusion. It just looks like one.

Is
it my imagination,

or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?

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