Ever
wonder what our kids are doing in high school? These are actual
analogies and metaphors that were found in high school essays.
1. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances
like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.
2. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like
a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without
one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the
country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at
a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.
3.
She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes
just before it throws up.
4.
The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because
of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge
at a formerly surcharge-free ATM.
5.
The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a
bowling ball wouldn't.
6.
From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie,
surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and
Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 8:00 p.m.
7.
Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across
the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one
having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other
from Topeka at
4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.
8.
Even in his last years, Grandpappy had a mind like a steel trap,
only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.
9.
She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.
10.
She was as easy as the TV Guide crossword puzzle.
11. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil,
this plan just might work.

~Contributed by Jim in
Galena, Illinois

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