HUMOR
Several years ago at a family dinner I noticed that my little 5-year old grandson was not eating the fried chicken I had prepared. His aunt noticed this too and asked him, why. He replied, “It has sticks in it!” We all laughed because it was obvious that he was accustomed to eating chicken nuggets. -Unknown

My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint. -Erma Bombeck

When my three-year-old son opened the birthday gift from his grandmother and found a water pistol. He squealed with delight and headed for the nearest sink. I was not so pleased. I turned to Mom and said, "I'm surprised at you. Don't you remember how we used to drive you crazy with water guns?" Mom smiled and then replied, "I remember." -Unknown

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry. -Rita Rudner

I love kids letters about misinterpreting the Lord's Prayer. When my twin daughters were young, I taught them to say this prayer before going to bed. As I listened outside their door, I could hear them say, "Give us this steak and daily bread, and forgive us our mattresses." My husband and I always had a good laugh over this and the memory still remains in my heart.-Unknown

Raising teenagers is like nailing jello to a tree. -Unknown

People are always asking couples whose marriages have endured at least a quarter of a century for their secret for success. Actually, it is no secret at all. I am a forgiving woman. Long ago, I forgave my husband for not being Paul Newman. -Erma Bombeck

I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, "There's water in the carburetor." I said, "Where's the car?" She said, "In the lake." -Henny Youngman

One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?" "It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt? He yelled back, "University of Texas." -Unknown