picture from: www.goodluckdeluxe.com/
has no connection to link below..I just thought he was a happy guy. Ana
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Please update your dictionaries to reflect the definitions that have been revised to reflect modern usage:

ARGUMENT - A discussion that occurs when you're right, but your opponent just hasn't realized it yet.

PATIENCE - The most important ingredient for dating, marriage and children. See also "tranquilizers."

MACINTOSH - The missing link between Nintendo and IBM.

JUNK - Stuff we throw away.

STUFF - Junk we keep.

JURY - A group chosen to decide who has the best lawyer.

SAINT - A person who behaves decently in an indecent society (Kurt Vonnegut)

ADOLESCENCE - A stage between infancy and adultery.

MODERN ART - What happens when painters stop looking at girls and persuade themselves that they have a better idea.

EXPERIENCE - Recognizing a mistake when you've made it again.

SECRET - Something you tell to one person at a time.

ADMIRATION - Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.

ALCOHOLIC - Someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do.

BOY - A noise with dirt on it.

DRUG - A substance that, when injected into a rat, produces a scientific paper.

FRIENDS - People who know you well, but like you anyway.

GAMBLING - The sure way of getting nothing for something.

HAPPINESS - An illusion caused by the temporary absence of reality

IRS - Income Reduction Service.

JUSTICE - A decision in your favor.

LAWYER - The larval stage of politicians.

LIBERAL - Too poor to be a capitalist, too rich to be a Communist.

ON-LINE - The idea that a human being should always be accessible to a computer.

OPTIMISM - A guy who gets married at ninety and buys a house near a school.

PARANOID - Someone who just figured out what's going on.

PESSIMIST - A well-informed optimist.

OPTIMIST - A well-instructed pessimist.

CONSCIENCE - That which hurts when everything else feels so good.

POLITICALLY CORRECT - Always having to say you're sorry.

LOGIC - The art of being wrong with confidence.

MAINTENANCE FREE - Impossible to fix.

COMPUTER - A device designed to speed up and automate errors.

MARRIAGE - 1. A very expensive way to get your laundry done. 2. A triumph of imagination over intelligence.

POLITICS - Poli (many) - tics (blood sucking parasites)

MULTITASKING - Reading in the bathroom.

BUDGET - A method for going broke methodically.

TOE - A part of the foot used to find furniture in the dark

from..https://www.christianscience.org/stories/dictionary.html