Another 'this is me'....

First memory remembered: On a gurney,
staring at the ceiling, at a flourescent donut light curled into the shape of a baloon worm.
Pale-yellow, smooth walls, white ceiling.
A zeppelin-breasted black nurse smiling through fuscia lips,
patting my chest, smoothing the blanket up to my chin....
privacy curtain pulled to block one side; it's dandelion yellow, blue, orange, green...

Second: sitting at a little desk. First day of kindergarten, staring at a girl screaming, eyes pinched shut, for her mom,
teeth missing, hair long, blonde, crimped, neck muscles at full strain, unable to contain that pinched, rusty voice,
black Mary Janes, white ankle socks, elastic-waist dress, knee length and umbrella'd, with strawberries falling toward the hem and the puddle between her legs

I stayed quiet, never cried. Somewhere inside I knew worse almost happened to me....
I was living on gravy.

Every second of every day after month eight, every breath and beat, a bonus
sometimes shunned,
and now
welcomed,

embraced
by Janet's tender
arms,
hands, legs,

mouth.....