Dubya Bush and Bill Clinton in Haiti. Dubya wipes his hands on Bill's shirt after shaking hands with someone:



Here's more from "Don't Act Old"

"HOW NOT TO HOLIDAY

Old people say one of the best things about getting older is that you finally have the time and freedom to travel. Except when you get older, it becomes a lot more difficult - psychologically, not Zimmer frame difficult - to get yourself out of the house and on the road.

Here's how to transcend the travelling challenges that come with age:

1. Do not book your flights and accommodation and plan your itinerary so far ahead that when the date gets near, you can no longer remember what airline you're flying on, what time you are leaving - or where you are going.

2. Resist the temptation to panic and pack your entire life. You don't need six pairs of shoes, clothing for every weather possibility, plus your special tea bags and the pillow that stops your spouse from snoring.

3. No bum bags (fanny packs). Ever.

4. You don't need to wash every last sock in the laundry pile and pay all your bills before you leave.

5. Do not get to the airport five-and-a-half hours early.

6. If you stay at a Travelodge, don't say you want a 'nice room'. They're all nice. They're all identical."

These are for the ladies:

"LADIES' NIGHT

Four tips to stop you looking like a cougar (a predatory older woman who likes to date much younger men)

1. Animal prints - Nothing says 'desperate old broad' like a pair of leopard-print stilettos. Or a tiger-striped blouse, unbuttoned down to there.

2. Watch the cleavage. You may not notice this in your mirror at home, but when you lean over and press your arms together, that lovely cleavage turns into a concertina of wrinkles.

3. Muffle the guffaw: middle-aged ladies out for a good time often laugh way too loudly, as if they haven't had this much fun in a long time and may never get the chance again.

4. Don't criticise the babes. Making snide remarks about the all-round inferiority of younger women fools no one. All it says is that you're jealous and insecure. You are, too.

NO PAUSE FOR THOUGHT

Please stop talking about the menopause. When did it get to be a topic for polite conversation? Stop discussing your hot flushes - now.

NO BRAS THE SIZE OF SCOTLAND

As the years advance, we face a weighty challenge. How do we make our breasts look perky without resorting to a bra the size of Scotland?

The answer is money. Any bra that is going to do its considerable job and still look feminine, attractive and young is going to set you back at least as much as you spent on trainers for your teenager.


Counting the cost: The older you get the more you'll need to spend on getting a decent bra

You are going to have to go to a posh lingerie shop or department store to buy it - and even be fitted by a trained professional wielding a tape measure.

Let's just run over the elements your bra cannot have: straps thick and strong enough to support a bungee jumper; more than two sets of hooks at the back; cups so large they totally rule out the possibility of cleavage; not so tight that a roll of back fat appears."