The local paper has an obituary for a man who grew up with my Dad in our small town. He was a largish guy, and my folks always referred to him as "Tubby Conder." His real name was Lloyd, but as a kid I thought Tubby was his real name because that's what I heard.

Spike Jones and his band recorded a song When Tubby Plays the Tuba, and I envision the pudgy guy in the marching band who is the only one whose size balances out the size of the tuba.

His mother-in-law was my mother's best friend, so I heard him called that frequently at home. I called him Tubby to his face once and my parents scolded me. For years I've figured he'd probably heard it before, but thinking back, it was probably one of those names that he got in grade school and maybe had forgotten about as an adult until I reminded him in my ignorance. I don't know if people today have even heard that word to refer to a chubby person.

This morning the phone rang and Caller ID said Johnson J. Took me a moment to figure out who that could be. It was the local plumbing legend who keeps everyone's septic systems perking along around here. I've never met him in person - he used to do work on one of our cabins before I owned this property. He called me because the post office lady told him I was having septic problems.

So I pick up the phone, he says Laura? and I say Tattoo? He used to have an official business and his business stationery said "Tattoo" and had a little cartoon of him, so I guess it's okay to call him that. It might even be an insult to call him Jim.

My nickname as a kid was Webster because when I was three I wanted to be Webster the Duck, based upon a childrens' show on TV. I don't even know what show that would be, but if you remember such a thing, please let me know. It would have been in 1954 or so.