This is a news article from England, so there are some Britishims in it. As George Bernard Shaw said, "England and America are two countries separated by a common language."


Do you dial numbers on your mobile phone with your index finger? Perhaps you have a tendency to strike up conversations with strangers? Maybe you own a matching three-piece suite?

If you answered yes to any of the above, then not only are you likely to be no spring chicken, you are also acting like an old timer.

But don't despair, author PAMELA REDMOND SATRAN, 44, has some tips to help you reclaim your youth in her hilarious new book - "How Not To Act Old."

 Here is an excerpt:

"Age: Getting old is unavoidable - but holding on to your youth by behaving in a younger manner can help keep age at bay.

MOBILE PHONE ETIQUETTE

Old people tend to talk into their mobile phones as if the phone was a tin can attached to a string, and the string was so long that the person with his ear pressed to the other tin can was in China.

Although mobile phones are extremely tiny and not connected to any wires, they're really more efficient than that. Believe it or not, you can speak in a normal voice - a softer than normal voice, even - and the person on the other end will still hear you. We promise.

Another important mobile phone tip: Don't hold your phone at arm's length - so you can read the numbers - and then dial very, very slowly, with your index finger. It's a dead giveaway. Young people dial and type with their thumbs. Finally, on no account set your ring tone to the old telephone phone bell sound (brrrriiing, brrriiing).

Only old people leave voicemails - or so my 19-year-old son tells me. Young people, accustomed to communicating by mobile phone rather than landline, assume that their missed connections will see their number in missed calls and return their call as and when.

Since discovering this tip, I and several of my 'older' friends have tried it with amazing results. Before, when I had something important to tell one of my students or a child, I'd leave a long, detailed voice message - and never get a call back. Then I tried hanging up.

And like magic, the young people in my life - curious to find out what it was I wanted - started returning my calls instantly. "