Last week my friend Fran told me she gets extremely irritated when someone says "it is what it is" because apparently that is becoming the new cop out cliche that people are using to avoid validating a rant. It might be replacing 'Oh WELL used in that same context.

I know what she means: it is very aggravating to be airing a grievance, not necessarily looking for solutions or a tremendous amount of solace, but at least an acknowledgment that a person has a right to feel put out, only to have the listener indicate their total lack of empathy or attentiveness by coming out with this kind of platitude just to shut you up.

I think the more proper form is to acknowledge their pain and then change the subject to something you want to talk about: "Oh, my goodness! That's terrible! You must have been outraged! Do you know if Sunday's Bronco game is at home or away?"

That's what I mean by validation. It is easy to do, and makes the complainer feel better. If you take the moment to validate someone's feelings, they will usually move on to the next topic, but if you don't do take the time or come up with something dismissive, they'll go on and on about it, or feel frustrated that you don't understand them.