''Sometimes I feel like the fire hydrant looking at a pack of dogs. For six years I had declined to tell those kinds of jokes, because I have been told it is not presidential. But I feel kind of outdoorsy today.''
—President Bill Clinton, at a party honoring the 150th anniversary of the Interior Department

''In the next hundred days our bipartisan outreach will be so successful that even John Boehner will consider becoming a Democrat. After all we have a lot in common. He is a person of color--although not a color that appears in the natural world.''
—President Barack Obama, at the 2009 White House Correspondents' Dinner

'If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River, the headline that afternoon would read: 'President Can't Swim.'''
—President Lyndon Johnson

''Let's not talk so much about vice. I'm against vice in any form.''
—President John Kennedy, to a friend who was telling him that he could be vice-presidential candidate in 1960

''Recession is when your neighbor loses his job. Depression is when you lose yours. And recovery is when Jimmy Carter loses his.''
—President Ronald Reagan

''In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress.''
—President John Adams

''Politics is supposed to be the second-oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.''
—President Ronald Reagan

''Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.''
—President John Kennedy

And one vice President I couldn't ignore:

''During my service in the United States Congress I took the initiative in creating the Internet.''
—Vice President Al Gore, during the 2000 presidential campaign

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