And I am not a fan. It's a sorta of holiday blues funk. I have been super busy celebrating the season with friends and family and yet I can't shake this ennui (general lack of interest, boredom or depression).

I know it shall pass, but I have also been missing SD. What is strange and sofa king wee todded about this is that we were not even together last year. It might have to do with my new year's plans which have turned into a nightmare of sorts. I am going to a local bar where my friend's band is playing and I get to go for free (YAY!) but I am going out with all married people and/or couples. Last year I did the same thing with my friend R but she was single, so that was nice.

I am hopeful that I can go out, celebrate, and have a good time on amateur night. I want to shake it like a polaroid picture and have Ronnie sing to me that Beth has a big ol butt... cause she does! HA.

My egg donor has called but there is not a good reason for not coming to my house and no apology has been said. I am still in the mindset of should I stay or should I go. I don't really know. What's going to make me happy? Unfortunately at this point I feel like no matter what I do I will ultimately be miserable.

It's not a good feeling. I hope you read someone else's blog for some uplifting holiday cheer.

SB