Profile
Photos
Comments
However, in the interest of fair play, I have finally figured out the perfect place for these right-wing terro...er...fanat...er..citizens to have a forum.
I am firmly convinced that "The Jerry Springer Show" fits them perfectly. They can rant, rave, and scream all they want there. Why, they can even get physical and beat up someone.
Now, to help them out, I have even included the application form...Go for it, guys! You'll fit right in.
Jerry Springer Show Application
Last name: ________________
First name: (Check appropriate box)
(_) Billy-Bob
(_) Billy-Joe
(_) Billy-Ray
(_) Billy-Sue
(_) Billy-Mae
(_) Billy-Jack
What does everyone call you?
(_) Booger
(_) Bubba
(_) Junior
(_) Sissy
(_) Other___________________
Age: ____ (if unsure, guess) _____ Not sure
Shoe Size: ____ Left ____ Right
Occupation: (Check appropriate box)
(_) Farmer
(_) Mechanic
(_) Hair Dresser
(_) Unemployed
(_) Dirty Politician
(_) Preacher
(_) Strip Dancer
(_) Hooker
Spouse's Name:_________________________
2nd Spouse's Name:______________________
3rd Spouse's Name:______________________
Lover's Name:___________________________
Relationship with spouse: (Check appropriate box)
(_) Sister
(_) Brother
(_) Aunt
(_) Uncle
(_) Cousin
(_) Mother
(_) Father
(_) Son
(_) Daughter
(_) Pet
Number of children living in household: _____
Number of children living in shed: ______
Numbers that are yours: ______
Mother's Name: _______________________
(If not sure, leave blank)
Father's Name: _______________________
(If not sure, leave blank)
Education: 1 2 3 4
(Circle highest grade completed)
Total number of vehicles you own: ___
Number of vehicles that still crank: ___
Number of vehicles in front yard: ___
Number of vehicles in back yard: ___
Number of vehicles on cement blocks: ___
Do you have a gun rack?
If no, please explain:
Newspapers/magazines you subscribe to:
(_) The National Enquirer
(_) The Globe
(_) TV Guide
(_) Soap Opera Digest
(_) Rifle and Shotgun
Number of times you've seen a UFO:_____
Number of times in the last 5 years you've seen Elvis:_____
Number of times you've seen Elvis in a UFO:_____
How often do you bathe:
(_) Weekly
(_) Monthly
(_) Not Applicable
Color of eyes:
Right_____ left_____
Color of hair:
(_) Blond
(_) Black
(_) Red
(_) Brown
(_) White
(_) Clairol
Color of teeth:
(_) Yellow
(_) Brownish-Yellow
(_) Brown
(_) Black
(_) N/A
Brand of chewing tobacco you prefer:
(_)Red-Man
How far is your home from a paved road?
(_) 1 mile
(_) 2 miles
(_) Just a whoop-and-a-holler!
(_) road?
Now, don't get all bent out of shape. At least I did it with humor. You guys might try some of that. You are way too serious. It's not the end of the world! It's just politics! I've been around long enough to know that nothing stays the same for very long in politics. It ranks about 100th or more on my list of what really matters.
On other news from the home front--I may soon have some very exciting news to report about Daughter #2. ( No, she is NOT having another baby.) There's about a 75-25 chance this is going to happen. That's all I can say right now.
Daughter #1 has been forced to file for garnishment of income from Grandson's deadbeat father. The man owes her in the neighborhood of 15 to 20 thousand in back child support. He hasn't paid a dime since his most recent wifethrew him out because he was too lazy to get a job. She saw to it that his child support got paid when they were together(from her money, I'm sure, since he didn't break a sweat in the six or seven years they were married).
He has lived with five or six women since then. He is a leech who attaches himself to women and lives off them. As soon as they realize what he is doing, they toss him out the door.
He draws partial disability from a back injury; however, he has a degree in international banking and speaks Farsi. He was in intelligence in the military. The man could be making great money with the government or in banking; he won't even try to get a job.
He has three children with three different women. He was married to my daughter and the mother of his daughter. He just lived with the other woman. I could say so much more about him, but it wouldn't change a thing, so why waste my energy? Suffice to say, Daughter #1, Grandson, and his parents (he comes from a wonderful family) are all sorely disappointed in him.
