Monday, I had lunch with L.  You may remember that I posted that she called me one day last week, stating that she had been thinking about me and wanted to see me.

Then she added.  "Lately I have been having trouble remembering things.  People will refer to something and I will ask, "Did I do that?  So I have just decided that I need to get back in touch with people and try to figure out who I am. Since you are part of who I am, I just want us to re-connect."

I had not seen nor heard from her since Kenneth's funeral four years ago, However, I thought she was just having "senior moments" as one of my friends calls them.

Now, it is more than that, I think.  She asked me how Gordon and I broke up. 

"I am really surprised that you don't remember that, since you are the one who told me what Gordon was doing."

"I just can't remember.  I recall that it was bad, but I can't remember why.  Tell me what happened."

So,
I retold everything to her, about her coming to my house to tell me, my not believing it could really be him, and her telling me that it absolutely was Gordon.  When I asked you how many people knew,  you told me "Quite a few."

"How did I know that?"  she asked.

"Well, I always assumed your ex-husband,( whom she were dating at the time,)told you."

"Yes, he would have had to have been the one who told me,"  she said.  Then, after thinking a bit, she added. 

"Now, I can kind of remember.  F took me over to that bar at the Calmez one evening to have drinks.  Then, we saw these guys going upstairs and they were people we knew.  When I asked F what they were doing, he said they were going upstairs to have sex with the prostitutes.  Gordon must have been with them.

Isn't it strange.  I just now realized that F took me there on purpose.  He wanted me to see that."

"He probably didn't think you would believe it unless you saw it yourself."

"Was Gordon a Sig Tau?"

I thought that was another strange question--that she could not remember that he was a Sig Tau.  She had been the White Rose Queen the year Gordon was President; he was the one who had crowned her.  Plus, her ex-husband was a Sig-Tau and we double-dated for many of the functions.

"Did he ever try to reconcile with you?"

"Yes, he came over two or three days later, but I was in far too much pain even to talk to him about it then.  What I don't think he ever realized was how badly he had hurt me and on how many different levels.  He lied to me, he cheated on me; but even worse he totally humiliated and embarrassed me.  I could hardly face his friends or mine after that. All I could think about was what a fool they must think I am.

Then,he went home and told his parents we had broken up.  I'm sure he didn't go into why.  His mother proceeded to fill his head with a bunch of lies about me and things were just never the same after that. Months later, when I was ready to at least agree to see him casually, I could see the love in his eyes, but he would not commit to our trying again.  It's the reason I have never been able to get over him.  I knew he still loved me.  I was completely confused and hurt still more.  I finally couldn't take the pain any longer.  I just had to walk away from it." 
(It wasn't until just recently that I finally put it all together.)

When I told her how his mother had interrogated me that first evening at dinner and pretty much ignored me the rest of the time we were there, she said,  "Now I remember all that--about his mother."

Well, she could NOT have remembered it, because I had never told anyone about it. I wasn't even sure his mother was the problem, though I knew someone was trying his best to keep us apart.

Then, she asked me if I ever saw any of the old gang again, stating that she had not seen anyone since Bill B's funeral.

"What happened to Bill, anyway?"  I asked.  "I saw his obituary in the paper."

"He killed himself."

"You're kidding!  Why?  What happened?"

"No one really knows.  He just started having fits of deep depression that kept getting worse.  He was living with this woman whom he supposedly was crazy about. But he had started calling K (his ex-wife) almost every day telling her he just didn't think he was going to make it. One morning she could tell he was really bad, so she called his law partner.  No one could reach him, so they finally tracked his car by its GPS. I think he jumped off a building. I just can't remember exactly."

I found that odd also that she couldn't remember how Bill died because his death had been fairly recently.  If you attended the funeral of a friend who had killed himself, wouldn't you remember HOW he did it?

I'm seeing her again in a couple of months, but I am worried about her.  

Do you think I am overreacting?