One day a man came home from work and was greeted
by his wife dressed in a very sexy nightie.
"Tie me up," she said," and you can do anything
you want to."
So he tied her up and went fishing.
*************************
A woman came screeching into the driveway stopped
squealing brakes, jumped out and ran into the house.
She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her
lungs, " Pack your bags honey, I won the lottery!"
The husband was all exited. He asked, "What should I pack, something for the beach, the mountains or what?"
It doesn't matter to me, just get out of here and hit
the road and don't come back!"
************************
Marrriage is a relationship in which one person
is always right, and the other is the husband.
***********************
A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply
for a drives license. First he had to take an eyesight test.
The optician showed him a card with the letters:
"CZWIXNOSTACZ" " Can you read this?" he asked.
" Read it?" the Polish guy replied,
" I know the guy>"