Pregnant prostitute.

A Doctor asks a pregnant prostitute..

"Do you know who the father is?"

"Fair bloody dinkum sport, if you ate a tin of beans would you know which one made you fart?"
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The children began to identify the flavors by their color:

Red......................Cherry
Yellow..................Lemon
Green....................Lime
Orange ...............Orange

Finally the teacher gave them all HONEY lifesavers. None of the children could identify the taste.

The teacher said, 'I will give you all a clue. It's what your mother may sometimes call your father.'

One little girl looked up in horror, spit her lifesaver out and yelled,

'Oh my God! They're ass-holes!


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Nun Beer.

While wandering through a shopping centre two nuns happened to pass a bottle shop.

One nun said to the other, "Wouldn't a nice cold beer or two taste wonderful on a hot summer evening?"

The second nun answered, "Indeed it would sister, but I would not feel comfortable buying beer as I am certain it would cause a scene At the checkout."

"I can handle that without a problem." said the first nun and she picked up a six-pack and headed for the checkout.

The cashier had a surprised look on his face when the two nuns arrived with a six-pack of beer.

One of the nuns explained "We use beer for washing our hair,a shampoo of sorts, if you will."

Without blinking an eye, the cashier reached under the counter, pulled out a package of pretzel sticks and placed them in the bag with the beer.

He looked the nun straight in the eye, smiled and said, "The curlers are on the house!"