One of today's leads is that Jesse James "bolts" from his sex-rehab clinic because his wife or ex-wife, whatever, refused to take his phone call.

We are wasting trees for this?

This Jesse James makes custom motorcycles. His wife is an overpaid actress who likes men with tattoos and large male members. Do I care?

Let's put some news on newspaper that is meaningful, informative and digestible. WhoTFCares!!!

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Good ball game last night. The baseball season opener was on the "mother ship" (ESPN. It was the NY Yankees vs. the Boston Red Sox. So many of my ex-Indians are on those two teams. I watched not caring much about who won, but I have to say I liked the Sox more. I hate CC Sabathia, now a Yankee, because he bolted the Tribe for big bucks, but then that's what major league sports is all about,,, money.

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The cats had such a good time on Easter Sunday that they are not very interested in the fine day that has opened outside. I have the windows open and they are dug into the beds and laundry baskets.

My pickled eggs are pickling in the refrigerator.

The bunny was good this year and even left the cats a few new toys. The day was brilliant, too. Such good Spring weather! In snowy Siberian February who would have guessed?

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One fortunate thing about living on the thousands of feet thick limestone and shale basement of Ohio is the lack of earthquakes. I lived in southern California for 30 years and endured many shakers, some causing damage to my house. I lost the top three feet of my fireplace chimney in the Landers quake in the 1990s. I had stucco cracks and some window jams caused by the really big Northridge shaker before that. I also had to replace some of my cedar fencing after that one.

I should be thankful, right, but I wish you could bring that weather up here. I also miss the palm trees and the gazillion coffee shops and the four lane city streets and the Costcos and the Trader Joes and the Der Wienerschnitzels and the In-n-Out Burgers and....