I picked her up, my casual-friend-just-for-companionship, and we went to see a movie. The theatre here has four rooms, three of them pretty standard and the fourth a stadium-style large one. I like the stadium seating because many ladies here have giant hairdoos and with stadium-style they are well below eye level.

I wanted to see DEFIANCE. She agreed, being somewhat of a history buff like myself. In the theatre, she saw another movie that inspired her to ask if we could skip DEFIANCE.

"It's about a dog," I said and looked perplexed.

"I like that kind of flick," she said and her eyes got dreamy and a little sexy too.

So we skipped the movie I went to see and instead watched a really awful thing called MARLEY AND ME.

After the show we dropped in at TJ Willie's for drinks. I recently madeover their website menues so I had a fistfull of gift certificates and used about thirty-five dollars worth. How many drinks is that?

Enough to make a woman a little crazy.

I had a couple of doubles, neat, with some pretzels to soak it up. She drank g;asses of white zinfandel.

Now white zinfandel is rotgut. It is made from a red grape that makes a delicious red wine, but they overplanted it back in the seventies. Now they use it to make what is literally jug wine, in great quantities. People like it because it tastes wet and a slight sweetness is present.

It has a rather low alcohol content, too, but last night we must have found a special bottle because it turned her into the horniest woman I have been with since my ex-wife, the goddess of free love.

By the fourth glass she was on my legs with her toes, on my arm, wrist and hand with hers, and on my eyes with that dreamy look.



So when we walked out to the car, and I was steadying her elbow with my hand, she literally pinned me against the salt-covered, dirty Toyota in a huge, soft and kind-of-flowing body slam.

Next thing you know I am getting her lips out of my mouth and sliding her into the car seat. I leaned across her with the seat belt in my hand and she pulled me down against her. I darn near fell into the car!

I managed that and got the car going. At a light she practically climbed over the stick shifter at me.

I began a litany about how my driving accident record was near spotless and my insurance was paid up but I had to be careful because there still were icy spots and on and on but she persisted.

Now I consider myself a gentleman, and a gentleman does not take advantage of a tipsy horny woman. At least that is what I have been told. So when I got her out of the car at her place (an apartment), I decided to be a gentleman.

She couldn't find her keys in her purse, so I had to get them out. I elbow-led her inside, put her purse on a table and sat her down in a chair. I went to the couch. She got up and came to the couch and slammed down on my lap, lips going at me again.

"I think you had too much wine and you should have some coffee now," I said.

"Shut up," she said.

Now as I said, I am somewhat of a gentleman. The lady was inebriated. I was not.

"Maybe I should go and let you hit the sack."

"Maybe not," she said and proceeded to yank at my sweater. I was still wearing a leather jacket.

"I should let you go to bed."

"Undress me."

Well. I made a decision. I lifted her butt off my lower abdomen and managed to get to my feet.

"I don't want to do it like this. I think you've had far too much to drink. I will call you tomorrow."

She seemed to get it, finally. She let out a big sigh and I thought it would be OK. I started for the door but she got there ahead of me and came on with the body slam again.

So we made out for a while but I think she had cooled off a bit. I made coffee in her little kitchenette area, drank a cup with her, and we talked a while - maybe a half hour. So by the time the coffee was gone it was OK for me to go home.

Does this all mean that a dog movie is a good "date" flick? Was it the white zinfandel? Hmmm?

I will call her this morning on my way to Fostoria to get my long hair buzzed off. I hope she doesn't remember that I shined her off, but I had feelings that we would regret a drunken episode in her bed.

But this has truly changed things. I will have to consider the way she turned from Miss Prissynice into Madame Lastnight. I had no idea. Absolutely no idea.

Oh my!