Eight people have been arrested by the high sheriff of whatever county Michael Phelps took a hit from a bong. It seems the bong owner offered it on eBay for a hundred grand, so the authorities nailed him. How stupid can a bong owner be? So far the high sheriff hasn't brought charges against Mr.Phelps, but if I were him, I would stay away from that state.

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A-Rod has broken a news record for the number of times his name has appeared in print and on radio and TV broadcasts during a 24-hour period (Who keeps these records???). He broke a previous mark held by Barack Obama.

Steroids do wonders, I hear.

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The death toll in the Australian arson fires is up to 181.

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It is great to have my sewer and water back in operation. Three days without a shower was worse than a week in divorce court. By Day Two my cats had packed their toys and were standing at the door.

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It is 52 degrees F right now. Today it reached the 60s. Imagine. The glacier has just about melted. A week ago I had 22 inches of snow in the yard. Today I can see all the leaves I forgot to rake. There are plowed-up piles of ice and snow in parking lots that still stand ten feet tall. They will be here until Spring.

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Storms later. Tomorrow we get torrents of rain, thunder, goober-sized hail, tornado watches and maybe, just maybe, flooding rivers and streams. Everything back to normal.

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I'm hungry.