The world's pork producers are demanding that the name of the influenza currently ravaging Mexico be changed from "Swine" to something less damaging to the hog industry. That makes sense because it isn't the porkers' fault. In 1919 this strain was named the "Spanish Flu," but it was called "Swine Flu" anyway. And neither the swine nor the Spanish (no relation) had anything to do with it.

I propose we help them out. Let's create our own names for the disease. I will start:

1. Dead Guy Flu
2. Ugly Blue Mask Flu
3. Oh God I'm Sick Flu
4. Don't Touch Me Flu!
5. Hanky Snot Flu
6. Spring Fever Flu
7. A-A-A-C-K-
8. Obama 100-Days Flu
9. Boston Red Sox Got Beat By The Indians Last Night Flu

and my favorite...

10. The Plague

And here's what's next...

The Blame Game Flu...

Republicans will try to blame it on President Obama.
Democrats will try to blame it on AIG and Citibank.
Israel will blame it on Hamas.
Iran will blame it on Israel.
North Korea will blame it on everyone else.
The NY Yankees will blame it on their bullpen.
Hollywood will blame it on the Paparazzi.
My cats will blame it on me.