Dear Editor:
Please publish the name and address of the moron who told the kids that Hallowe'en was the 29th of October instead of the 31st. I will send the aforementioned nutcase a calendar. If the kids would like treats, my porch light will be on Saturday, the real Hallowe'en.
Also, remind him that Thanksgiving will be the fourth Thursday of November and that Christmas will fall on the 25th day of December.
-Jon Adams
(I actually sent this to our newspaper after kids began knocking at 6:30 p.m. tonight! Sorry, kids. Nice costume but wrong night.)