This has nothing to do with ex-President G.W. Bush. It is the letter that Meranda assigned to me.

1. W is for Wookie. Wookies are my favorite name for all these damned stuffed animals I have given my cats over the years. The Wookies are everywhere. I pick them up, put them back in the baskets and the next morning they are everywhere but the baskets.

2. W is for Wishes. I wish all the time. Most of all I wish for the correct Lotto number. Sometimes I wish for sunshine, a common wish in Ohio. Once I wished for something and it came true. Once.

3. W is for Warmth. It is January here.

But it is notable that this is the first day this month that we have exceeded the frost mark. Our low high was minus 4 degrees. Our low low one night was minus 16. These are Farenheit, not Centigrade. Minus 16 Centigrade would freeze salt water.

4. W is for Work. I work at whatever. I do graphic design for real money, but real money is scarce, so I paint paintings and try to sell them. I sold 17 last year. WTF? I also write and clean up after five cats. That is work, too.

5. W is for Woman. My favorite gender is womankind. A woman cannot be anything less than the perfect creation. I like the way they look, the way the walk and the way they smell. Yes.

6. W is for Wary. I am very wary. I no longer trust anyone. It is part of my personality now. Too bad, but it means that I can't ever have another serious romantic relationship. You have to be able to trust.

7. W is for West. I am painting western scenes now. I love the raw color in the dry and dessicated desert. The best times to view the desert west are very early in the day and late on a winter day.

8. W is for Wodka, Warshawa and Wroclaw. I love Polish words. I can't pronounce many of them but they sound good. When the Polish people say them it sounds like they have a mouthful of something they ate.

9. W is for "Wee-Doo." It is what my parakeet calls the TV. Wee-doo is his way of pronouncing "window," which resembles the TV screen. He thinks it is a window. I hear the word many times each day. He says it when he wants me to switch to a cartoon channel.

10. W is for Worldwide Web. Without the Internet, how would we be able to connect, express and do these things? It was the greatest invention since the automatic door down at Wal-Mart. The most useful invention since the turn signal. The most commonly used invention since the birth control pill. Al Gore did not invent the Internet; he couldn't even turn on my Mac if he had the instruction manual in his hands. God invented the Internet. Steve Jobs and Bill Gates had to show him how to do it, but he did it. LMAO.