Some times you must cry.

Growing up I was told not to cry. "It's a sign of weakness," they said. "If you cry, you're a sissy."

So I kept it in check and thought that by not crying I would be seen as a stronger, more manly kid.

Later in life I discovered that by not crying when crying was called-for by the human psyche, it simply bottled-up the emotions to the point where it could cause severe psychological problems.

During the initial period of my separation and divorce I spent much of the time alone, sitting on my back porch, not capable of holding all those hurts and fears within me. I cried, and I did it alone, away from anyone's eyes and ears. I thought that it was normal to let it all come out, and to do it alone was socially acceptable.

In those days I began to go down to "my" coffee shop to seek out other people and be around friends. I didn't tell them for weeks that my wife had boogied away and moved in with her most recent lover. I just drank at my Cafe Americano and listened to the friends tell their awful jokes.

And I didn't cry.

I didn't cry at the coffee shop because crying in a public arena or venue is socially unacceptable.

You can cry at certain times. You can cry at a funeral, at a wake, at a memorial. You can cry when the USA hockey team beats the pants off the Russians. You can cry when you get a letter from the I.R.S. But...

You can't cry at a dinner table with your friends present. You can't cry when you're at work. You can't cry in your lawyer's office, because it eats up time and he's charging you two hundred bucks an hour.

Crying releases pent-up grief. It is like a safety valve on the psyche. It is a human thing and has absolutely nothing to do with being either manly or unmanly.

You can cry on the bank of a rice paddy when your radio man just had his chest blown apart by a 7.62 ball round and dies in your arms.

You can cry when your Father is lying on a kitchen floor, lifeless, and the paramedics are trying to rescucitate him.

You can cry (for joy) when your firstborn erupts with a cry of his own at birth.

And sometimes, even for no reason, you can suddenly break out in tears and bawl.

But society demands that when you do the latter, you be alone, on your back porch, in a quiet room, or somewhere that nobody can see or hear you.

That's just the way it is.

And it has nothing to do with weakness or being a sissy.

So if you feel like crying, do it. It is good for the body and even better for the soul.