(At the losing side's press conference...)
REPORTER: "Coach Doobie, how do you feel about the allegations?"
DOOBIE: "Alley what?"
REPORTER: "The reports that Hobster's team used deflated balls."
DOOBIE: "Hobster don't have any. He been neutered."
REPORTER: "Seriously, Doobie, isn't that cheating?"
DOOBIE: "Them cats are used to cheating. They do it all day and night. You shoulda seen whut they did to the kitchen floor last nite."
REPORTER: "But..."
DOOBIE: "Next question. From the little cute Calico over there..?"


SESSIE'S PRESS CONFERENCE AFTER THE DEFLATERGATE CONTROVERSY:
REPORTER: "Sessie, since it is your team to coach, how come you haven't made any statements prior to today about the air pressure in the soccer ball?"
SESSIE: "Cuz we're just tryin to focus on the next game."
REPORTER: "What do you have to say about the ball?"
SESSIE: "We're just tryin to focus on the next game."
REPORTER: "Did you know ahead of time that the ball would not be inflated to the League's required air pressure?"
SESSIE: "We're just tryin to focus..."
REPORTER: "Why won't you answer our questions?"
SESSIE: "Next question?"