Crystal River, FL is a very special place in the universe. It is about two hours north from our house in Palmetto, and it’s famous as a prime gathering place for one of the gentlest creatures on earth – the Florida Manatee.
About two weeks ago, Mary and I decided to go there and meet the manatees. Mary called ahead to a dive shop in Crystal River that specialized in “swimming with manatees” and set up a time for us to go and do it.
We stayed at a place called The Point Motel in Crystal River. It was late in the afternoon when we arrived, we weren’t scheduled “to swim” until the next morning at nine o’clock.
The Point Motel’s claim to fame is that, back in 1961, The King of Rock and Roll, Elvis himself, spent a night there. And, by the looks of the place, that was the last time the rooms had ever been painted.
However, the place was clean, and the rooms were adequate, if just a tad run-down. The restaurant on the premises, The Ale House, was outstanding, and the view of The Crystal River from our room was nothing short of breath-taking.
The next morning, we clamored out of bed at seven o’clock, opened the door from our room to the parking lot, and we were confronted with…twenty-six degrees Fahrenheit!
There was frost on the windshield, a crisp snap to the air…and we were going swimming!!!!!
Well, to be honest with you, I chickened out. I decided that, with an air temperature of six degrees below freezing, I wasn’t about to hop into any river! Of course, Mary Ellen was not to be deterred.
So off we went to the dive shop that was going to take her and a group of four other intrepid souls out to commune with nature.
Mary had to put on two wet suits, one over the other, in order to ward off the cold. Then, we all hopped into a little pontoon boat, and off we went to the visit the manatees.
Now, since this environment was completely natural, (by that I mean it wasn’t in a pool, nor were the manatees enclosed in any way, shape or form), there was no guarantee that we would see any of the creatures.
When we got to site in the river where manatees usually congregate in the early mornings in search of warm water, the dive master read off a litany of strict do’s and don’t’s when encountering manatees. You may not chase a manatee, feed it, or touch it with two hands (one hand only). Nor may you dive down below the surface of the water to get to a manatee. You may not poke or prod a manatee with any part of your body or with any object.
Failure to follow any of these rules could result in jail time and a fine of up to $10,000.

Let me tell you a little about manatees for a moment.
First of all , there are only a couple of thousand of Florida Manatees left in existence. The mammals are on the verge of extinction, due, in large part, to the human development of shoreline properties.
The creatures are herbivores, eating up to 15% of their body weight a day in vegetation.
They are closely related to the elephant and the aardvark.
Their bodies make them look like large seals, and their faces have thick, coarse whiskers, making them look like walruses with out tusks.
Their brains are relatively small, but their bodies can grow up to twelve feet long and weigh up to 2,500 pounds.
They are also known as sea cows.
In times long gone by, they have been mistaken as mermaids. (However, if you ask me, those folks must have either been drunk out of their minds, nearly blind, or had incredible imaginations. There is NO WAY that you could mistake these huge, ugly creatures for Ariel and her sisters!)
And even though their bodies look bloated and pudgy, there is practically no body fat on the creatures.
They are the gentlest of creatures, with no natural defenses. It is their sheer size that keeps would-be predators at bay.
Manatee deaths in Florida are up 41% over last year, and the greatest reason for this is collisions with watercraft. Because they are mammals, manatees breathe air. And when they surface to breathe, they are in danger of being struck by boats and personal watercrafts such as Sea-Doos. Most times, such collisions are fatal to the manatees.
When Mary Ellen jumped off the boat, she was pleasantly surprised to find that the water temperature was 72 degrees F. As she and the rest the group swam away, I stayed on the boat, happily sipping coffee and standing ready to take pictures with digital camera in hand.
A few moments later, I looked down into the water, and seven manatees had wandered into the area. I watched as they played with the anchor ropes of the boat, grabbing them between their flippers and seemingly nibbling on them. (In reality, they were not “nibbling”, since manatees only have four teeth – two molars on the bottom and two on the top.)
I counted five adults and two juveniles floating around the boat. What surprised me was that EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM had deep scars and gashes on their backs from encounters with propellers.

After about a half hour, Mary Ellen swam back to the boat, and the manatees flocked to her! (They were not expecting food, because it is against the law to feed the creatures.) They were just curious and playful. Mary reached out with one hand and petted them. A few of them flipped over, exposing their bellies so that Mary would scratch them. One nibbled on her hand, one grabbed a few strands of her hair in its mouth and gently tugged on it. One actually pushed its face right up against her diving mask as if trying to kiss her.
The adults were massive creatures, but they were so gentle that Mary never felt intimidated or frightened in the least.
All the while I was watching this amazing scene, I kept thinking, 'These things are on the verge of extinction!' If the preservation measures in place today do not work, these guys and their kind will be completely wiped out in just a decade or two.
Such a loss! I’d love to have my children and grandchildren share the earth with creatures such as these! And their impending extinction has absolutely nothing to do with natural phenomena. Their extinction is being manufactured by Mankind.

Mary Ellen has done many things in her life thus far: she’s bungee jumped off bridges in New Zealand, sailed through The Panama Canal, got caught up in a riot in The Dominican Republic, skied the Alps, scuba dived in countless places, including Mexico and The Bahamas, ridden horses through The Remarkables in New Zealand, etc , etc., etc.
However, after spending an hour in the water communing with the Florida Manatees, she declared that the experience was one of the most incredible of her life…next to marrying me, of course.


Mary Being Kissed



Mary's Hand in The Manaee's Mouth