Intelligent Design

The Creationists put forth the idea of Intelligent Design to combat Darwin’s Theory of Evolution.

I have my problems with this topic. First of all, I think there are way too many problems with the overall design of things for this to be done by some sort of engineered blueprint.

Problems with the structure of the human body alone gives one pause. For example, the reason that SO MANY humans have problems with their backs is due to the fact that the human back is better designed for creatures that walk on all fours than on two legs. The unique “s”-shape to our backs is a weaker design than the rainbow-shaped backbone of a dog or a cat. (It is only at the very end of a dog’s spinal column where there is a slight, reverse curve so that the creature can look forward.)

 At one point, we may have walked on all fours, and our backbones where curved like those of dogs. However, when we decided that we’d rather walk upright, the twist to the top of our spinal columns had to become more pronounced so that our heads could we held up and our eyes could look forward, thus weakening the whole damn spine.

When I was talking to my doctor about Intelligent Design, (She and I talk about all different kinds of things), she had her deep reservations about the theory because of the human male and female genitalia.  According to Dr. Kristin, the vagina of a woman is too close to the anus. Thus that area is a fertile breeding ground for infection simply because bacteria can be so easily spread from one opening to the other.

And I won’t even talk about yeast infections!

In males, sperm must be stored in the very vulnerable scrotum sac outside of the more protected trunk of the body because the normal human body temperature of 98.6 F is too hot of an environment for the sperm to survive. Seems to Dr. Kristin and me that if it were done by design, and not random evolution, God would have had enough brains to make sperm more temperature resilient, or He would have lowered the average human body temperature to something more hospitable to sperm.

And the appendix.  Anybody know what the Hell that little organ is used for? Nobody in the scientific world seems to have a clue. So why is there, when it has no discernible function, and, when it is removed, there are no detrimental effects to the rest of the body?

What about the fruit fly? These little creatures live for twenty-four hours, and their whole purpose for existence is to produce fertilized eggs in order to hatch yet another generation of fruit flies that will do the exact same thing and nothing else!

What possible purpose could they have in the Grand Scheme of Things? The only explanation that I can come up with as to why a sentient being would purposely plan out and create a fruit fly would be that the creature is used as a demotion station in reincarnation. In other words, if your performance in a previous life was deemed unacceptable, you’d come back as a freaking fruit fly.

Okay. That makes sense to me. The fruit fly question has been answered!

But wait. The creators of Creationism and Intelligent Design don’t believe in reincarnation. Neither do they believe that any creature other than humans have everlasting souls.

So, again I ask, where does the fruit fly fit into Intelligent Design? It really just doesn’t seem to be all that intelligent to me!

And what about the dinosaurs? These creatures roamed and ruled the planet for millions of years, dominating everything! And then, one day, the rock crashes into the Yucatan, and, literally, POOF! Dino and his friends take a cosmic screwing, and they are all history…or pre-history!

T-Rex and his contemporaries were here for MILLIONS OF YEARS!!!!! And then, suddenly, within a span of a few decades, there’s not one Super-saurus to be found anywhere????  Talk about one, gigantic dead end and a COLLOSSAL waste of time, protoplasm and energy!!!!

If this God who designed all of this stuff was working for my manufacturing business, He would have cost me a freaking FORTUNE on the Dinosaur Debacle alone!
I can imagine that conversation. God comes into my office with His head down and His hands folded nervously in front of Him.

Jim: Come on in. Close the door.

God: Yes sir.

Jim: Take a seat.

God: Yes sir.

J: Now, Frank, have You any idea how much money You just cost the company? Not to mention the complete waste of raw materials!

G: Quite a bit. I’m aware of that.

J: Well, God damn it!

G: Hey! Easy there, buddy. Thou shalt not…

J: Okay. Okay. My mistake. I got a little carried away. But Frank, you cost this company a bundle! Hell, it’s going take us MONTHS to recoup the losses. This is going to have a definite effect on Your bonus this year.

G: Yes sir. It won’t happen again. I’m sorry.

J: Well, Jesus Christ, Frank!

G: Could we leave the kid out of this discussion?

J: All right. But take a little more time in the preliminary stages next time, for G… Pete’s sake! Use Your engineering degree!  A little more research and development! Think things through before You put a project into production!

G: Yes sir. More R & D. You can count on it. It won’t happen again!

J: See to it that it doesn’t! Otherwise, one more massive screw-up like this one, and I’m afraid I’ll have to let You go.

G: Yes sir.

J: You’re better than this! I mean, Hell, just look at Your freaking resume!

G: Must have been a brain fart. I’ll be more careful in the future.

J: Good. Just take your time, dot your i’s and cross your t’s, and you’ll be fine.

As I stated earlier in this post, the idea of Intelligent Design was hatched by Creationists as a rebuttal to The Theory of Evolution. And, to be perfectly honest with you, I really don’t understand why they’ve got their noses so far out of joint over Darwin’s theory.

I believe in a Higher Power, and yet I have no problem whatsoever with evolution. I fail to see how evolution excludes the idea of a Deity, as it’s detractors claim.

What is wrong with the notion of God setting things in motion, and then Him/Her/It just sitting back and seeing how things pan out? That how I see things.

God lined up all the dominoes in the box, and knocked the first one over with Almighty, well-manicured finger just to see what would happen. As a form of amusement.

That is how I can justify the Beginning of all things, and that is also how I reconcile my thoughts with all the evolutionary dead ends and “mistakes” like the fruit fly.

When Robin Williams was asked about Intelligent Design, he said that he didn’t believe in it. His reason? – “Why would God give every man two heads, but only enough blood supply to use one at a time?”