I have written a few posts from time to time poking good-natured fun at the differences between men and women, and I have read many articles by women decrying the failures of men and articles by men doing the same to women. I have even read some incredibly hateful and hurtful pieces by both sides that have really bothered me.

Let’s face it; when it comes right down to it, we need each other.

Yes, there are some real slugs and boorish folks out there in the world, and some have penises, and some have vaginas. One sex does not hold a monopoly on idiots.

However, there are also some incredibly wonderful, loving, virtuous, open minded and intelligent men and women in this world, and, I for one, find this type of folk to be in the majority.

Now, with procreation and sexual pleasure put aside for a moment, (Just a moment, guys!), I’d like to say that we, as men, really need women in our world.

The different perspective on situations, in particular on interpersonal relationships, is invaluable. If it wasn’t for Mary Ellen, her advice, and her example, I wouldn’t have a relationship today with any of my kids.  I was ready to write off each and every one of them when they reached their rebellious years. When I was ready to cut them loose and sever all ties, it was Mary who kept the level and compassionate head and, without taking one side or the other, would say to me, “What is more important – the issue or the relationship?”

Now, as those who know me and who read this blog know, I enjoy close and loving relationships with all of my kids and my grandkids.

It wasn’t my doing.  It was thanks to Mary Ellen.

I have also employed that “strategy”, if you will, to other relationships in my life, including business relationships, and it has worked wonders with friends and with customers. (Mr. L.L. Bean had it right.  He said that you should always treat customers and employees as family. And look at the modicum of success that HE had in the business world!)

I need the soft, rounded edges in my life. I need soft places to land.  Most men do, even though they sometimes have a hard time admitting it. Mary provides that for me, and, at times, she isn’t even aware of it. When I feel despair tapping at my window, I think, no matter what happens, Mary loves me and is going to continue to love me. No matter how corny that sounds, I swear to God that it is the truth, and it pulls me through the toughest of situations.

It’s okay if I do something stupid and make a fool of myself, I am NEVER a fool in Mary’s eyes. And, because I have chosen good friends and nurtured (Yeah, I said nurtured!) the relationships the way that Mary taught me, I am never a fool in their eyes either.

I like coming home to the sweetness of a good woman.  I like walking into the house and seeing how she has decorated things. I like her smile and "hello"-kiss that washes away the ugly parts of the day.

I am not a decorator.  I’m an organizer. I can organize a room or an office or a classroom and make it the most efficient place that you can imagine.  Sterile, but efficient.

When people walk into my homes in Connecticut, in Maine or in Florida, they always comment on how warm and homey and happy (Yeah, happy!) the places look.  And it’s all Mary.  Did she spend a fortune on decorations and furniture? Nope! Most of our furniture is older stuff, and most of the decorations, believe it or not, come from our barns, or from flea markets and tag sales. Seriously! When’s the last time you walked into somebody’s living room and found an old fashioned corn sheller sitting in the corner of the room? (The thing weighs a ton!) How about a wooden hay rake, a chopping machete, and draft horse yoke hanging on the wall?

(Actually, the yoke was my idea.  I found it in one of our barns covered in moldy hay.  I cleaned it up, brought the leather back to some form of suppleness, and then took it down to the local glass store and had a mirror fitted into it.)

And who among us doesn’t need a gentle touch or some form of soft reassurance from time to time?

I often look at my wife and wonder how someone can be so soft and feminine, and yet so strong when she needs to be.

Are we wired differently? There’s no doubt in my mind about that.

In our relationship, I think I am the more practical one. I am the one who is better with time and space relationships. I’m the one who can open the jars without having to resort to explosives. I have NO misgivings whatsoever about squashing bugs.

And she, with her level head and nerves of steel, pays the bills and balances the checkbook.

The older I get, the more I become aware of the fact that men and women aren’t that different in their wants and desires. However, there are also some areas “where never the twain shall meet.”

For example, I don’t care what anybody says, tofu tastes. like. crap.

(By the way, did you know that pediatricians are now telling mothers not to feed their infant baby boys soy products? It’s true! Soy is a female food. SERIOUSLY! The molecular structure of soy is so similar to that of the female hormone estrogen that ingestion of the substance by young boys can retard the development and growth of the male genitals. . . So that's what happened!!!!)

Also, I have no understanding of why women need so many damned shoes!

And, it doesn’t make any difference what you say, there is no such thing as a comfortable, relaxed yoga posture. (And don’t even get me started on pilates!!! Hell, it took me two years just to learn how to pronounce the word properly!)

What about the old school thought that women are more emotional than men? Well, to tell you the truth, I cry more than my wife does. Seriously.  I cry at movies. I cry when I’m happy. I cry when I get excited. My friend Chris ("Oombutu" on MyBloggers.com) swears that I cry at hockey games!

Mary gets more excited about things like new babies and weddings and those kind of things, but I cry more.

And equality? Okay, let’s talk equality here.

Our oldest son married a sweet, little Filipino girl.  She’s just the cutest little porcelain doll that you could ever imagine.  The first night that they were settled into their new home after they were married, they sat down for the first dinner that Fi cooked for the two of them. After dinner, Kyle got up from his seat, cleared the table and began doing the dishes.  Fi begged him to stop. He was embarrassing her because, in her culture, what he was doing was woman’s work.

She said something like, “Kyle! If my mother finds out that you wash the dishes, she will be very upset with me!”

Kyle replied, “Yeah, well, if my mother ever found out that I didn’t, she’d KILL me!”

Mary Ellen doesn’t demand equality. She just expects it…and gets it.

In our house we are both equal, even though I have to work like HELL sometimes to uphold my end of the deal!

We men could learn good lessons in humility, persistence, forgiveness, patience and tenderness from women.

Where would we be without women to teach us all of these complicated and yet basic and simple truths about becoming human beings?