Editorial





Ever notice how jarring the journey from airport to airplane can be? Where one is an expansive, bustling place filled with great displays of emotion, the other is confining in nearly every way. The tightness of the aisles, the smallness of the conversations among seat mates, the predictably narrow range of reading materials and snacks are all mirrored in most passengers by at least a measure of self-restricted imagination, if not about the flying itself then about what awaits at the destination: a weekend with in-laws, perhaps, or a five-day getaway with the family in frighteningly close quarters.

This travel season promises to put new strains on our tolerance for such "togetherness." Airlines are running fewer flights and cramming them with more passengers. Travelers may be opting to stay with relatives rather than shell out for lodging. And budget vacations - a rollaway instead of a suite, pizza in the hotel room instead of waterfront dining - are de rigueur.

In other words, get ready to grit your teeth. Hard. Tight spaces tend to amplify all of our most annoying habits at the same time they strangle our good humor about other people's less-than-ingratiating behavior. Southwest Airlines passenger Pamela Root found this out recently, when she was kicked off a San Jose-bound flight because of her out-of-control 2-year-old.

Out of control? Is there really any other kind of 2-year-old? Oh, they are all angelic some of the time, and some rare breeds are angelic nearly all the time, but any honest parent will tell you that control is little more than illusion when it comes to the Pamper-wearing demographic.

It's a key concept, control. Our assumptions about how much of it people truly possess over their screaming children, their loud breathing, their rigidly held beliefs, etc., etc., are surely tied to the degree of frustration we feel when forced into close contact with them. In other words, cutting other people some slack is giving yourself a gift.

Many people say they agree with the crew's decision to remove Root and her toddler from the plane. (The airline later apologized for the inconvenience and gave her a $300 voucher.) One manners expert asserts that the woman had no business subjecting fellow passengers to such commotion and should have inconvenienced herself rather than ruin other people's flights.

Perhaps that's true, but asking someone to do the unselfish thing in a selfish society is calling for a rather Herculean effort. The person who goes to the trouble to reschedule a flight because of a fussy child will very likely not be given the same courtesy by her fellow travelers. The people who are spared the discomfort will probably never even know about it.

When it comes to living peaceably in close quarters, it might be wiser to focus on our reactions to irritating behaviors. A deep breath, a sympathetic smile, a small recalibration of one's expectations may be challenging exercises, but realistically, they are often far less so than changing the behavior itself.

Small spaces, after all, can be positive environments. Loneliness is rampant in this nation of drive-thru meals and multiple televisions per household.

A stuffy plane or a cramped hotel room may not be the easiest place to connect with our fellow human beings. But it's a pretty good place to practice peace on earth and goodwill toward men.