We are at least two weeks into the new year and it has been mostly a nosedive already.  I am not ready to throw my hands up and say f*** it all yet, but I am in need of a good scream.  I cannot believe the ridiculous amount of drama that has occurred, in addition to other things that are obviously out of my control.
For those of you who wondered where my last post came from, that was my stupidity reading coincutter's drivel in his review of women.  That dumb f*** has no respect for anyone other than his hypocritical spewing self.  What I saw in him six years ago I do not know.  Obviously it wasn't the real Gary, because to know that guy all you need to do is read his blogs.
I guess I am just sick of people running their mouth saying whatever they feel without taking into consideration the feelings or emotions of others.  I am sick to death of stereotyping and general blanket statements about whomever.  What even galls me more is that there are so many idiots out there running around blaming whatever and/or whoever for their words and actions, as though they are f***ing puppets.  Get real, be a man (or woman), and own up to what you do.
God knows none of us are perfect and that really does go without saying.  But passing blame off is such a lame thing and really quite hurtful to at least some others.  Not to mention that it shows the mouse you really are.  And that statement is hurtful to mice because they can't help their small stature.
It does seem that many of my beefs center around men, which are impossible to avoid as they are half of the world's population.  I blame myself in part, though, because I am so kind as to give another chance, and then of course I get burned.  And often so does my daughter.
R showed up unannounced on Tuesday after no communication on my part with him.  So like a fool, I let him in, and let him in.  Today he repays me by blaming me for him throwing a bunch of library DVD cases on the floor in his anger and breaking one of them.  We were doing the usual yelling fight and all was well (or so) until then.  He really incensed me when he picked up the plastic pieces and threw them onto the plate of chicken that I was cutting up.  R's lame excuse was that he didn't realize that I was standing there cooking.  Like he couldn't see what I was doing while we were having a yelling fight.  After this I was really hot, as I was making dinner for (was us, until that, then daughter and I), so I went towards him and in the end I ended up with a scratch mark down my chin and onto my neck.  That was the end of that.  R wisely grabbed his stuff and left.  Later, during a two way conversation he proceeds to tell me that he has given so much of himself for my daughter and I and then he gets treated like sh**.
Boo hoo.  I am so sick of a**holes and selfish bast****.  After everything that happened over the weekend with my daughter's dad, who is my ex-husband, he proceeds to tell me what a sh***y mother he thinks that I am after I tell him how selfish he is to return home two hours away and cancel plans to move ten minutes from here because he doesn't want to have to help take care of his ailing mother, who happens to be in the hospital right now.  She has been ill since Sunday and her NOT very loving son decided to up and leave her early yesterday morning and not call and tell his sister.  Thankfully she was there when their mother went to the bathroom, collapsed and had a small seizure.
I have just so had it.  Despite what anyone has to say, I have been and will always be a kind, giving, respectful person, but I am through having jerks take that kindness and treat me and mine like sh**.  For all of you out there that do such things to those that are so giving, shame on you, you users. 
And don't get me wrong.  Gary is one of them, and when he met me he pretty much seen a paycheck.  That guy has held only one real job his whole life, and that was easily twenty five years ago, at a Ponderosa.  Don't be fooled by stories of greatness by these kinds of cads.  That's all they are...stories.
Take some advice, young ones.  A relationship or marriage is a two way street, and you can only be responsible for your side of it.  If the other person isn't in it doing what they should, then drop them like a hot potato.  Don't beat yourself up trying to change someone, no matter who they are, because trust me, a leopard doesn't change its spots.
Being a kind giving person is a good thing, but don't let it get to the point where the word welcome is stamped on your forehead.  The world is full of moochers and users.  Learn to recognize them early, and you will save yourself a bunch of heartache.
Speaking of saving, give it up.  The only person you can save is yourself.  The rest of the world is a lost cause.  They have to be the one to admit their faults, their addictions, the pain they have caused.  And then also rectify it and do right, by themselves and you.  Otherwise, write them off, because the one who will hurt in the end is you.
So I guess this rant is over.  One thing I have learned out of all of this is that you can really only count on yourself when you choose poorly because that is the only person that is going to take care of you.  It has already been a crappy week, month, and year.  I hope to change that real soon.
Tomorrow my daughter's aunt will go to court and her estranged husband will try to get her and us tossed out of the house.  Gee, what a wonderful world this is.