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18th April 2008 !!!
Yes, one year on and I am still here!
I have been 'itching' to be here and actually
write this. This time last year, I was sitting
in a bed at Morriston hospital, having been
taken there following the (to me)
devastating news, that my 'Aorta', had
become 'dissected' from my heart and, that
I required immediate surgery. I had not
been 'ill' (I had attended the hospital as
an 'out-patient', following Endyocarditis &
it's repercussions, which were quite
extensive) so the annual 'check-up's'
were more of a nusciance & inconveniance,
rather than of the 'emergency' type. As
I have said, I felt totally fine, in myself.
(and, I am now controlling my blood pressure, with a lot, more determination, as that was the cause of the dissection)!
Right, to cut a long story short, Chris
(Bedrock), returned home to start sorting
out my 'in hospital stuff' - nighties, toilet
bag etc. when the surgeon who had
operated on my heart back in 2001, came to
have a chat with me (as he would be the
one to do it) and explained everything to
me. The test they had done to see how
'strong' my heart was, weren't too
promising. In fact he told me all the things
that could occur.
When he had finished speaking and I, had
asked him several things, I decided not,
to go through with the operation. He,
decrared himself as relieved, as his gut
feeling was that my heart just is not, strong
enough and that I would likely die whilst
the op. was taking place. Obviously, I did
enquire 'how' long before my inevitable
death. He said he did not know, as they
were not sure when, the Aorta had become
disected. From his attitude, I guessed it
wasn't going to be that long.
I phoned Chris to tell him not to bother,
getting my stuff as I was coming home -
fair play, he didn't know what, to make of
that, conversation! I don't think I was
able to explain anymore to him - the
shock of it all, was starting to hit 'home'.
But it wasn't untill a couple of days time,
when I was carrying on, doing my normal
chores (hosing down the back yard, after
cleaning up after the dogs, actually) that
it did hit home, with a vengence! I would
break down at the very slightest thing.
Merely a shopping trip and passing a place
- in one case, just driving by 'Trade Center
Wales' (we had done a lot of mechanical
work for them, when Bedrock had the
garage) and, I was recalling going down
there to collect our payment for it - stupid
little things like that, would flood back in
there droves.
Then quite suddenly, one night, I
remembered when Lynnette had to go into
hopspital for her heart operation, I
remembered praying for her to be ok and
asking him to 'take me' rather than her - I
could not witness her children being left
'motherless'. It was then, that I realised
that this was 'God's choice' and that he was
'calling in his debt' - I felt sooo much better
then! I was able to see some 'rhyme and
reason', to these events. During this period,
I did actually try to speak to
'redimpala' (she was 'southwestengrad'
then on Blogster & I was 'wandaful') and
she was quite willing to have a chat to me
about it, but, I just didn't know how, to
explain it all to her, even though Joan had
some knowledge of the fear I was feeling
as she had, had a very similar experience.
It was her love of The Lords Prayer and my
love of the Twenty Third Psalm, that got me
through it. So a big THANX JOAN, for that
xxxxx
So, I am still here, still feeling fine - no
pains - other than what 'getting older'
brings about lol!
I am looking forward to sitting here next
year - still thinking positively & awaiting
'his' call!
Btw, my starting the wandaful blog, was
the result of a 'bet' that Bedrock and I had.
He did not think that I would be able to
keep 'her' going, as long as I had! lol - it
must be the first bet I have won with him!!!
P.S
The 'personality' of Wandaful, is my own,
only the 'nationality' and 'family', are
different (and the age)!!!! lol
