'FOR REAL' CLASSIFIED ADS
Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.
Stock up and save. Limit: one.

Great
Dames for sale.

Illiterate?
Write today for free help.

Semi-Annual
after Christmas Sale.

Wanted:
Hair cutter. Excellent growth potential.
Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once,
you'll never go anywhere again.
Dinner Special — Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children
$2.00
Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra
pair to take home, too.
We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully
by hand.
For sale: antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and
large drawers.
Our experienced Mom will care for your child. Fenced yard, meals,
and smacks included.
Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with round bottom for
efficient beating.
Have several very old dresses from grandmother in beautiful condition.

Vacation Special: have your home exterminated. Get rid of aunts.
Zap does the job in 24 hours.
Toaster: A gift that every member of the family appreciates. Automatically
burns toast. Girl wanted to assist magician in cutting-off-head illusion.Used
Cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated. Come here first.
Handmade gifts for the hard-to-find person.
Year old teacher needed for preschool. Experience preferred.
Wanted. Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink.
Our bikinis are exciting. They are simply the tops. And now, the Superstore unequaled in size, unmatched in variety,
unrivaled inconvenience.We
will oil your sewing machine and adjust tension in your home for
$1.00.