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Kid Speak - Part 2
https://comedyplus.blogspot.com/
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ELDERLY
While
working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins,
I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds.. She was
unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age,
particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her
staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself
for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and
whispered, "The tooth fairy will never believe this!"
DRESS-UP
A
little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw
her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, "Daddy, you shouldn't wear that
suit."
"And why not, darling?"
"You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning."
DEATH
While
walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister heard
the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently,
his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling
that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box
and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of
the deceased. The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate
prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he
thought his father always sang: "Glory be to the Faaather, and to the
Sonnn, and into the hole he goes."
SCHOOL
A little girl
had just finished her first week of school. "I'm just wasting my time,"
she said to her mother. "I can't read, I can't write and they won't let
me talk!"
BIBLE
A little boy opened the big family bible.
He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly,
something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at
it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the
pages. "Mama, look what I found," the boy called out.
"What have you got there, dear?"
With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, "I think it's Adam's underwear."
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ELDERLY
While
working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins,
I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds.. She was
unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age,
particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her
staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself
for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and
whispered, "The tooth fairy will never believe this!"
DRESS-UP
A
little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw
her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, "Daddy, you shouldn't wear that
suit."
"And why not, darling?"
"You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning."
DEATH
While
walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister heard
the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently,
his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling
that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box
and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of
the deceased. The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate
prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he
thought his father always sang: "Glory be to the Faaather, and to the
Sonnn, and into the hole he goes."
SCHOOL
A little girl
had just finished her first week of school. "I'm just wasting my time,"
she said to her mother. "I can't read, I can't write and they won't let
me talk!"
BIBLE
A little boy opened the big family bible.
He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly,
something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at
it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the
pages. "Mama, look what I found," the boy called out.
"What have you got there, dear?"
With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, "I think it's Adam's underwear."
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May 21, 2009
Kid Speak - Part 1
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NUDITY
I
was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a
woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark
naked!
As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, "Mom! That lady isn't wearing a seat belt!"
Read More...
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NUDITYI
was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a
woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark
naked!
As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, "Mom! That lady isn't wearing a seat belt!"
Read More...
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Friday, May 15, 2009
Funny signs
We are not very far from that!
https://hellaheaven-ana.blogspot.com/2009/05/funny-signs.html
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