Laughing It Off
THE TRUTH ABOUT CATS

Cats aren't clean, they're just covered with cat spit.

Cats have the simplest of taste —- the best will suffice.

Dogs are like kids. Cats are like roommates.
Cats are living proof that eating and sleeping all day isn't all bad.

Cats teach us that not everything in nature has a function.
Traits we despise in people, we prize as virtues in cats.

Cats know all the sunny places.
An aquarium is just interactive television for cats.
A cat's favorite game is: "Hah! Made you look!"

A cat's worst enemy is a closed door.
Cats aren't as dignified as people say they are. (Ever watched a cat give itself a bath in the middle of the living room?)
Cats are good for dusting high places.

Cats have fur coats because they look silly in raincoats.
Thousands of years ago, cats were worshiped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.

You don't own your cat. The cat owns you. And the cat owns the house. You just pay the mortgage.
Cats have their own lives; get on with yours.

There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast.

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later.

There are many intelligent species in the universe. They are all owned by cats.

Cats operate on the principle that it never does any harm to ask for what you want.