The Torah says, Love your neighbor as yourself.
The Buddha says, There is no self.
So, maybe we're off the hook.
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Billy Bob & the Frog
Billy Bob is 77 years old and loves to fish.
He was sitting in his boat the other day when he heard a voice say, 'Pick me up.'
He looked around and couldn't see any one. img1.gif
He thought he was dreaming when he heard the voice say again, 'Pick me up.' He looked in the water and there, floating on the top, was a frog.The man said, 'Are you talking to me?'The frog said, 'Yes, I'm talking to you.
Pick me up then, kiss me and I'll turn into the most beautiful woman you have ever seen.I'll make sure that all your friends are envious and jealous because I will be your woman!'The man looked at the frog for a short time, reached over, picked it up carefully, and placed it in his front breast pocket.Then the frog said, 'What, are you nuts? Didn't you hear what I said? I said kiss me and I will be your beautiful bride.'He opened his pocket, looked at the frog and said, Nah, at my age I'd rather have a talking frog.'
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Laughter IS the Best Medicine!Laughing can help you to cope during stressful situations. It may also bring a balance to your immune system, thereby helping you to fight off sickness and disease. Studies have also shown that laughter, and a good sense of humor, may help to prevent heart disease and heart attacks.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to pass gas. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my gas with the beat of the music.After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee, and noticed that everybody was staring at me....Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod....and how was your day?
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RETARDERED GRANDPARENTS - (this was actually reported by a teacher)After Christmas, a teacher asked her young pupils how they spent their holiday away from school. One child wrote the following:We always used to spend the holidays with Grandma and Grandpa. They used to live in a big brick house but Grandpa got retardered and they moved to Florida. Now they live in a tin box and have rocks painted green to look like grass. They ride around on their bicycles and wear name tags because they don't know who they are anymore.
They go to a building called a wreck center, but they must have got it fixed because it is all okay now, they do exercises there, but they don't do them very well.There is a swimming pool too, but they all jump up and down in it with hats on. At their gate, there is a doll house with a little old man sitting in it. He watches all day so nobody can escape. Sometimes they sneak out, and go cruising in their golf carts. Nobody there cooks, they just eat out. And, they eat the same thing every night --- early birds. Some of the people can't get out past the man in the doll house. The ones who do get out, bring food back to the wrecked center for pot luck.
My Grandma says that Grandpa worked all his life to earn his retarderment and says I should work hard so I can be retarded someday too. When I earn my retarderment, I want to be the man in the doll house. Then I will let people out, so they can visit their grandchildren.