ACCORDING TO HUMANS: "Ironclad Training Guidelines"

The dog is not allowed in the house...
~Okay, the dog is allowed in the house,
but only in certain rooms...
~Fine, the dog is allowed in all rooms,
but has to stay off the furniture...
~Okay, the dog can get on the old furniture only...
~Fine, the dog is allowed on all the furniture,
but is not allowed to sleep with the humans on the bed...
~Okay, the dog is allowed on the bed,
but only by invitation...
~Fine, the dog can sleep on the bed whenever he wants,
but not under the covers...
~Okay, the dog can sleep under the covers by invitation only...
Fine, the dog can sleep under the covers every night
and the humans must ask permission to
sleep under the covers with the dog!


ACCORDING TO CANINES: "Phideaux's Prayer"

Now I lay me down to sleep,
My humans' bed is soft and deep.
I sleep right in the center groove.
My humans, they can hardly move!
I've trapped their legs, they're tucked in tight,
And here is where I pass the night.
Peacefully, without a doubt,
'Til morning comes and I want out!
I sneak up slowly to begin
Nibbling on my humans' chins.
They soon awake to care for me,
'Cuz I'm their critter, don't you see?

Now morning's here and time to play
(I always seem to get my way!).
From first light to the setting sun
I count my blessings ones-by-one.